Beach Blast organizers say next year’s festival will not be ass-backwards amateur-hour shit-show

Beach Blast organizers say next year’s festival will not be ass-backwards amateur-hour shit-show

Shediac — Organizers of this year’s Dooly’s Beach Blast country music festival say they are aware of complaints from concert-goers and are already taking steps to incorporate feedback into a slightly-better-but-likely-still-frustrating experience next year.

The event, which took place over the weekend at Parlee Beach in Shediac, was reportedly marred by long lines for food and beverages, lack of portable washrooms, a shortage of volunteers and security personnel, unclear signage, unruly fans, filthy concert grounds and problems with shuttle services.

“OK, so we ran out of ice 15 minutes after the gates opened,” said one of the event planners. “We left it out in the 35-degree heat and then like, poof, it was gone. We were all running around like, ‘Where did the ice go?’ We’re still not quite sure — I think it was divine intervention.”

The man, speaking on condition of anonymity, told The Manatee that efforts would be made in the future to sell fans “premium-level” tickets, with easier access to luxury items like food, water and washrooms.

“We made the decision early on to not let people bring water to the site,” he added. “The festival is in close proximity to the ocean so there’s plenty of water there, and sometimes there’s even free water that falls from the sky — so why would people bother bringing some in? The way I see it, we were doing them a favour.

“Next year, we’re also going to hand out some free Corona straw hats, so folks waiting for the porta-potties can just take a sh*t in those instead of relieving themselves behind the hotdog stands.”

Country music fans — who spent upwards of $160 per ticket — were vocal about their disappointment.

“I had to wait in line for two hours to get a Coors Light, and when I finally got it, it tasted like hot piss in a can,” said Brandi-Lynn Steeves, 25, of Riverview. “It was disgusting; it’s Coors Light, it’s supposed to taste like lukewarm piss in a can!”

“You probably could have guessed that the festival was going to be a trainwreck just from looking at their website,” said Jayden-Ethan Taylor, 19, of Hillsborough. “It looks like it was put together by a coked-out spider monkey with attention-deficit disorder.

“It’s too bad there were so many problems with the event, because the performers were great,” he added. “I loved Florina-Georgina Line or whatever they’re called.”

At press time, the Facebook page for Dooly’s Beach Blast, and all customer reviews associated with it, had been deactivated. Administrators told The Manatee this was done because there was simply “too much constructive feedback” being posted, and organizers were worried disgruntled patrons weren’t spending enough time with their families.

  1. Big 2 thumbs down March 1, 2017, 7:59 pm

    I missed the whole thing waiting in GD line ups so I didnt die of friggin heat exhaustion. But oh what do you know. Food and drinks are two different lines. Then beer was something else off by itself but yet, another line. For piss in a can. Unreal big waste of money.

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