Fredericton — “Canada’s Huggable Car Dealer” has proven he can sell any vehicle — even an aircraft.
Jim Gilbert’s Wheels and Deals used car dealership on Fredericton’s north side is notorious for its bright, penetrating beacons that light up the sky on a nightly basis. When Jim Gilbert began using the superfluous and extravagant lights, Frederictonians were confused and alarmed, but eventually deemed them no more than a cheesy sales gimmick perfectly fitting with the dealership’s image.
For a plane flying over Fredericton during a storm last week, though, the blinding lights indicated the only safe place to land.
“I was searching for the Fredericton airport, but all I saw for miles was snow and blackness,” explained pilot Geoff Neil-Kinney. “When I saw those two pillars of light reaching into the sky, what I really saw was hope. The landing was seamless — right smack in the middle of what I thought was an airport landing strip, but was really the dealership lot.”
Jim Gilbert was thrilled to learn a massive aircraft had unwittingly become the newest addition to his product inventory. “I couldn’t believe my luck,” said the salesman, hugging our reluctant reporter. “I’ve never sold a Boeing, but I slapped a ‘Special Offer’ sticker on it and within just an hour or so I had people calling and inquiring about it.”
“I wasn’t particularly attached to the plane — in fact it wasn’t even mine,” said Neil-Kinney, “so when Jim offered me a big hug and $100k, I said ‘hell yeah!'”
The eventual buyer, Harry Timmons of Forest Hill, made the aircraft his by putting a down-payment on it and financing it for the next 80 years at a low, low rate of $5,000 monthly. We asked what he intends to do with a massive aircraft. “I’m going to convert it into an efficient and cozy little homeless shelter,” he said. “Lord knows this city will never do anything about homelessness — it’s the least I can do to make Fredericton a more hospitable place to live during these winter storms.”
As for the car dealership, Gilbert says they plan to install several more, even brighter lights. “If we can land and sell one plane, why not more? Why not a helicopter or a UFO? Sky’s the limit!”