CBC miniseries proves Upper Canada truly does just hate us

CBC miniseries proves Upper Canada truly does just hate us

Nova Scotia — CBC’s new documentary miniseries Canada: The Story of Us has offended many Atlantic Canadians: Nova Scotians and Newfoundlanders primarily. The Trudeau-funded series puts everything west and north of Quebec in the forefront and leaves all of Atlantic Canada’s rich history to be… umm, researched on our own time, I guess.

Since airing last month, the miniseries’ message is clear: Upper Canada hates the east and wishes their history forgotten.

Nova Scotian politicians are passing around a petition to get CBC to either apologize to their little brothers on the east, or fix the error by shooting an episode explaining Nova Scotia and Atlantic Canada’s role in the development of the country. Some Scotians, on the other hand, are equally mad, yet surprisingly unmotivated to sign the thing.

Halifax historian and card-carrying Liberal Bruce Benoit told us he was “embarrassed for his party and his country” after watching episodes one and two with his wife last week.

“I don’t care much for petitions, but I don’t think I’ll be watching episode three.”

Benoit broke it down further by saying: “It’s hard for most Nova Scotians to properly cope with the horrific lack in representation in almost every corner of society. They generally tell themselves that with the exception of historical significance (i.e. the invention of hockey, hockey skates, the screw propeller, the largest man-made explosion before nuclear weapons and, ya know, being the oldest permanent European colony in the New World) all people know about us is TPB and Sid the Kid. Some of us have a hard go with it. And Newfoundlanders have even more reason to be mad, really. They’ve bin around even longer!”

So when CBC announced they were releasing a new miniseries called Canada: The Story of Us, Newfies and Scotians alike were excited to hear their provinces’ names on TV.

“Bad ’nuff havin’ ta see ol’ Justin’s mug at the beginnin’ of the thing,” Mikey McKay from Amherst told us. “But not one mention of us the whole first episode! And they said ‘Halifax’ once in the second friggin’ episode! They jus’ kept callin’ us The East. Buncha dicks! Don’t ya know boat Port Royal, ya boneheads? Whudaboat the Newfies! The Vikings! Huh? Idiots!”

When suggested that the government of Nova Scotia fund their own documentary series, McKay’s response was: “Too soon, bud. Too soon.”

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