Caraquet — A group of Caraquet mothers is getting active by working out with their strollers, but several residents of the northern town say the fitness club discriminates against those without children.
Twice weekly, each woman in the group pays $2 to bring her stroller, her baby, and her A-game. The club’s founder, Pamela Bernard, puts the women through a series of exercises using body weights, water bottles, park benches — you name it, she’ll incorporate it into a comprehensive regime.
“I invite dads, grandmothers, guardians … everyone can come, as long as you have a baby,” she stated.
That final stipulation is not sitting well with Caraquet’s childless residents.
“So, just because I’m single and don’t have kids, I have to pay $30 bi-weekly for a gym membership?” spat 28-year-old Tina Tremblay upon hearing about the “strollercise” group. “I live alone and I don’t have many friends, to be honest. Would it kill them to let me in?”
“No, it wouldn’t kill us,” defended Bernard, rolling her eyes. “But it would slaughter the whole stroller thing we’ve got going on. I’m no expert — really, I have no training whatsoever — but don’t only women with babies have strollers? And all my workouts and runs are heavily stroller-oriented. It just wouldn’t make any sense to let these baby-less bitches in. They’re so self-centered.”
Childless Caraquet women aren’t the only ones up in arms about the exclusive stroller sect. “Oh, I get it — I’m a man and I hate babies, so I’m excluded from what I’m told is an amazing workout,” said a sarcastic Neville Haines, 48, slumped in front of his TV eating a family-sized bag of Doritos. “This is like… double discrimination. It’s anti-childless and anti-male. Maybe I’ll start some kind of petition once my show’s over.” The Manatee‘s reporter reminded Haines that the group does accept men so long as they have a baby, but he couldn’t hear over the crunch of the chips, and simply said “Huh?” while the greasy crumbs spilled onto his T-shirt.
Some other Caraqueters are upset that each session costs $2; they claim it’s too pricey and should be free. Others say “strollercise” needs to be more inclusive of those who dislike exercise and simply want to socialize. Still more say the group should completely disband, as it excludes loners who don’t enjoy the company of others.
“Jesus. I give up,” said an exasperated Bernard.