Crews to wrap up Regent Street construction by fall 2018 ‘at the latest’

Crews to wrap up Regent Street construction by fall 2018 ‘at the latest’

Fredericton — While there were rumours that the construction on Regent Street in Fredericton would be finished in 2016, crews are now estimating that because of “reasons most people wouldn’t understand,” work will now be done by fall 2018. Probably.

“Oh yeah, I’d say 2018 at the latest,” said foreman Brent Jardine, as he leaned on a shovel and squinted in the September sunlight. “This year definitely not, and likely not next year, but for sure we’ll probably have ‘er all set for the year after that one.”

Jardine said the city is in the habit of being overly optimistic when revealing estimated times to the general public. “I say, why not lower their expectations? If you tell people it’ll take 5 years, they’ll be overjoyed when it only takes 2 or 3. But I’m not the one in charge of making these projections. In fact, I have no sweet clue who is.”

The Manatee asked Mayor Mike O’Brien what he thinks might be holding the project up. “OK, well, you didn’t hear it from me, but this is mainly a way to force Frederictonians to get practice on that  new roundabout,” he confided. “We thought they’d work out the kinks in just a summer, but I suppose that was aiming a little high. I think a couple more years should help everyone figure out how to use the damned thing. Fingers crossed!”

Jardine asked our reporters to convey to Fredericton drivers just how unreasonable their expectations are when it comes to construction in the city. “I’ve never finished anything in just one summer — be it a season of Mad Men, the latest James Patterson novel, or staining my back deck — and I don’t see why this should be any different.”

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