Dorchester — Senior citizen Phyllis Milner has, to the surprise of herself and her family, become the proud owner of a successful Internet meme site just months after her grandson Liam taught her how to use a computer. The creation of the site is best described in Milner’s own words:
“I saw on my emails that someone had sent me a link to a website called ‘Cheeseburgers.’ It had all these darling pictures of cats, and the writing on the pictures showed what they were thinking. Most of them were thinking about food of course, cheeseburgers or whatnot. So I thought to myself, ‘Well, Phyl, you have enough time on your hands, and more than enough cats, so why don’t you go and make your own cat website?’”
And that she did. Milner used the more than 25 feral cats that she regularly feeds in her barn as models and created the Internet’s first feral cat meme website. The process was slightly more difficult than she expected.
“I made the website easy enough; anyone with 2 brain cells in their head can make a WordPress site,” said Milner. “But getting a good picture of my kitties, that was harder. I fell over and nearly broke my hip trying to get a picture of Old Tuna Fish Steve.”
Eventually she managed to lure Steve out using — you guessed it — tuna fish, but taking the snap is just the first step in the process of crafting a certified Milner feral cat meme. Once she’s taken the picture, Milner likes to conduct an in-depth interview with the homeless feline.
“See, these cats have a harder life than the cats on that other website. They’re not thinking about cheeseburgers, they’re thinking about whether they’re going to have a next meal at all. You can see just by looking in their eyes the pain and hardship they’ve gone through.”
For this reason, some of Milner’s memes have been described by Internet commenters as “dark” and sometimes even “deeply depressing,” especially when she forgoes the usual cute animal-speak for plain English. Milner doesn’t agree with this assessment.
“That’s just the way life is, you know. These little guys live day to day. They don’t know if they’ll wake up the next morning or not. I think that’s kind of liberating in a way. So I don’t take those kinds of comments too seriously. Besides, Liam said ‘don’t listen to the haters, Gram,’ so I’m not.”
Rather than listening to the haters, Milner is enjoying the ad revenue coming in from her well-trafficked site, which she says allows her to upgrade the cat food she buys for Old Tuna Fish Steve and the gang to Premium Fancy Feast.
“Who knows?” said the Internet-conquering senior, “Maybe I’ll even make cheeseburgers for them sometime.”
Then she shook her head and laughed.
“Probably not. They all have intestinal worms so that’d be a waste of good meat.”
Is this a real site and if so what is the URL?
If your cats were only destroying invasive species (cats themselves being a noxious invasive species), then nobody would be complaining. But your vermin cats destroy anything that moves. Letting a cat roam free is absolutely no better than intentionally throwing rat-poison around on everyone’s property to kill any living thing. Your man-made vermin cats are now driving hundreds if not thousands of species of native animals to EXTINCTION across the whole planet. Have you no conscience nor morality left?
Apparently gutting-alive and skinning-alive animals with everyone’s vermin cats, tortured to death just for your cats’ play-toys and YOUR entertainment, no other reason, is perfectly acceptable to you. Yeah, you’re all fine upstanding “animal-lovers” who respect all other lives around you and all other life on earth, aren’t you.
Are you not even aware that T. gondii oocysts in run-off from the land are killing rare marine mammals thousands of miles away? Or that these oocysts when dried (and still viable) become aerosolized and drift on the wind? You can contract T. gondii just from a cat-owner’s yard when it’s not been raining for a week and you inhale any air that passes over their land.
Free-roaming cats and people improperly disposing of indoor-cats’ cat-litter are actually killing-off hundreds of rare marine-mammal species, even rare whales, (countless numbers of individual rare animals) thousands of miles away on coastlines of all the world. A global ecological disaster worse than any oil-spill that has ever existed or could even be imagined. There are now harsh fines in areas of California for anyone found dumping cat-litter illegally, not in some environmentally-contained landfill. At least some of them “get it”.
Birds are just a minor subset of all the thousands of native animal species (billions of individual animals) that cat-lickers (criminally irresponsible cat-advocates) are annihilating around the world, TORTURING TO DEATH, with their man-made invasive species vermin cats.
Not only are these demented invasive-species house-cats-ONLY “animal lovers” now killing-off all Big Cats in all wildlife reserves around the world:
thenational D0T ae SLASH news/uae-news/big-cat-owners-warned-to-keep-them-acres-away-from-feral-strays
And for the ultimate example of absurdity and species-conservation irony, now making all moggie-licking residents of the UK (the inventors of that TNR insanity) the complete laughingstocks of the whole world, they’ve already made their ONE AND ONLY NATIVE CAT SPECIES EXTINCT in the UK with their invasive species “moggies”:
guardian D0T co D0T uk SLASH environment/2012/sep/16/scottish-wildcat-extinction
“A report, produced by the Scottish Wildcat Association, reviewed 2,000 records of camera trap recordings, eyewitness reports and road kills, and concluded there may be only about 40 wildcats left in Scotland in the wild today. ‘However you juggle the figures, it is hard to find anything positive,’ says Steve Piper, the association’s chairman. ‘The overwhelming evidence is that the wildcat is going to be extinct within months.'” … “However, it is not the loss of habitat that is causing the current cat crisis in the Cairngorms. It is the spread of the domestic cat.” … “‘Essentially the Highland wildcat is being eradicated by an alien invasive species: the domestic cat.'” (report quoted from 2 years ago, they are no-doubt extinct by now)
As well as killing-off all their inland River Otters in England (and elsewhere) with their cats’ parasites:
wildlifeextra D0T com SLASH go/news/otter-toxoplasmosis D0T html
As well as cats’ parasites killing-off all rare and endangered marine mammals on all coastlines around the world (worse than any oil-spill that has ever existed or could even be imagined):
news D0T msn D0T com SLASH science-technology/deadly-cat-feces-killing-thousands-of-marine-mammals
environmentalhealthnews D0T org SLASH ehs/news/hawaiian-monk-seals
Plus these cat-licking “animal lover” psychopaths and sociopaths are also killing-off all the Mountain Lions (Cougars, Puma, Endangered Florida Panther, etc.), and all other native cat species in North America:
rapidcityjournal D0T com SLASH sports/local/feral-cats-pose-threat-to-birds-lions/article_8ec451c9-4b03-55a3-baa7-71ac577905cb D0T html
But now these cat-lickers are even killing-off rare whales and causing massive birth-defects in the indigenous Inuit people who depend on seal-meat for their very survival. Seals that were infected (and are also dying-off) from these cat-lickers’ cats’ parasites.
Cat parasite found in western Arctic Beluga deemed infectious
news D0T ubc D0T ca SLASH 2014/02/13/bigthaw/
Let’s thank these psychotic bible-home-schooled cat-licking cretins for all the fine work they do for being such fantastic “animal lovers”, shall we? THEY JUST LOVE CATS SO MUCH! So caring! So thoughtful! So intelligent! So FULL of love for living things! So much so that they will even sacrifice whole races of humans to death-by-birth-defect to prove how much they love their cats.
I’d love to thank them all, each with a gift of a solitary-confinement prison-cell — FOR LIFE. Better yet, for their VAST ecological crimes and sins against all of nature and all of humanity, hanged-until-dead would be a far more fitting “gift” for them AND the whole planet. That used to be the punishment for engaging in bio-warfare against the human population and all other animal life in any country. I say bring it back — special, just for them.