Environment Canada urges NB to prepare for yet another snowpocalypse

New Brunswick — Environment Canada is issuing yet another winter weather advisory for New Brunswick. The agency is reporting that there will be “a whole lot of snow dropped on the province beginning sometime Monday and ending sometime after it starts.”

The report lists the entire province as being affected by the warning and urges the public to prepare for the impending storm: “We ask that all citizens act as though the world is coming to an end. Drive like a maniac to your nearest grocery store and stock up on essentials such as bread, milk, Doritos and pop. While at the store, you should lose any human decency that you have, and hold no regard for your fellow shoppers or store clerks that may be in the way of your survival — this includes children and the elderly.”

New Brunswick has been hit hard over the past week, with many residents still clearing snow from the storm that struck Tuesday. “I’ve just given up,” expressed Kelly Rose of Moncton.

“I shovelled a bit last week, just enough to get out to the store, but I’m not doing any more. I called a plow company, and they told me they were too busy to help. I even went out with a broken shovel and without a hat, hoping someone would feel sorry for me and stop by and help me out — no luck,” Rose continued.

“I’m just so done with this. I’m going to live off of whatever I have here in the house and wait until spring before I go out again.”

Frank Hampton of Fredericton is loving all of this snow. “It’s the best,” he said excitedly. “I can make tons of snow angels, build forts, have snowball fights and dig tunnels — my wife loves me getting all this exercise.”

Environment Canada says the impending snowfall could amount to “a whole crap-load more snow” and says we could see “blizzard-like conditions, especially if it’s a blizzard.” A list of cancellations can be found below:

-Everything in New Brunswick