Good Robot offers Islamic centre free beer to drop complaint

Good Robot offers Islamic centre free beer to drop complaint

Halifax — The Good Robot Brewing Company in Halifax, N.S. has been a source of ire for many in the community since it opened in 2015, and now its next-door neighbours have filed a complaint with the alcohol and gaming division of Service Nova Scotia calling for the brewery’s liquor licence to be revoked.

The Centre for Islamic Development has the misfortune of being located right next to the hipster watering hole, which blasts crappy music at all hours and has little regard for nearby businesses or organizations. The Islamic centre’s members say brewery patrons have vomited, urinated, vandalized and smashed beer bottles on their property, and it has to stop.

“Sometimes we’re dealing with bearded drunks smoking weed all night and then vomiting up their artisinal cured meat platter on our front steps,” said the director of the centre. “We’ve been a fixture of the neighbourhood for almost 20 years. We have tried speaking with the brewery owners but it’s like they can’t hear us over the music, and they just think we’re complimenting their beer any time we come in to talk to them.”

“We’ve offered these Islamic people a bunch of free condoms with our logo on them, and some Good Robot crop tops for all of their members,” said Good Robot co-owner James Corbett. “We’re prepared to give them free beer as well — what more do they want? Maybe they should join us instead of being wet blankets.”

Good Robot says that they will even create a special-edition beer just for the Islamic centre in exchange for all complaints being dropped.

“I’m thinking we could give it a cool name like, I dunno, ‘Mohammed Mayhem Milk Stout’ or ‘Devout Doppelbock,'” Corbett mused. “We’ll tap a keg and host a big-ass party in their honour, and they’ll be free to attend. That should smooth things over.”

“Wow, their ignorance truly knows no bounds,” replied the centre’s director.

The police have been called with noise complaints, but always seem to end up staying at Good Robot to drink the delicious beer instead of making things quiet down. “The brews are just so darn tasty, you kind of have to forget about all the other stuff,” said Const. Frank McPhee, while sitting at the bar enjoying an IPA. “What’re ya gonna do?”

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