Fredericton — One month after Fredericton Exhibition Ltd. changed the locks on Horse Racing New Brunswick’s Winners Lounge bar, the sports organization announced that they would be hosting a large-scale horse demolition derby to pay off their mounting debts.
“DeMARElition Derby 2016 is set to be a major event,” said Horse Racing N.B. executive director Roberta Nixon. “We’re hoping to draw people from around the province to watch our horses tear shit up.”
Nixon said that she and the organization are perfectly happy just doing races, and explained that if it weren’t for their outstanding debt, DeMARElition 2016 would likely never have happened.
“Still,” she said, “it’s going be pretty lit, though.”
Among the planned events to be featured at DeMARElition 2016 are Freestyle Colt Collision, Extreme Cow Tipping and High-Altitude Jousting.
“I’m particularly excited about the Bus Hop, where we’ll have one of our horses jump over 10 city transit buses” Nixon said. “I am, however, becoming a little worried about the drinking habits of our jumper, Sundance.”
She’s referring, of course, to the prominent racehorse’s much-reported incident last year in which he was caught running loose with a blood-alcohol level far above the legal limit. Sundance spent close to 2 hours gallivanting about before finally crashing into the side of Connaught Street Elementary.
“Nevertheless, he remains our biggest draw,” she said, with a hint of sadness. “We’ve been working with him and his sponsors to ensure that he stays healthy and sober. That’s our number one priority.”
Is she at all concerned that subjecting the horses to such dangerous and strenuous activity could put them in serious danger of injury?
“Oh yeah, for sure,” said Nixon, looking a little embarrassed. “We’ve already had to mercy-kill 6 of them during rehearsals.”
Just then, a loud crack rose from the field and rolled through the sky like thunder.
“Seven,” she corrected.