Bathurst — Residents of New Brunswick’s hospitable northern city are celebrating their new job opportunities after famous Swedish furniture store Ikea announced today that it would be opening a new location by the north shore. City council is hosting a free dinner gala at the K.C. Irving Centre this Saturday evening and invited all 246 employable Chaleur region youth to come devour Swedish meatballs in honour of the city’s new cultural hub.
“This is great for tourism, this is great for jobs, this is just the best thing that ever could have happened to Bathurst,” said Mayor Sven Bürneet, who changed his name to better suit Bathurst’s new economic driving force.
City council also opted to begin changing street signs to their Swedish names to kill two birds with one stone — satisfying Ikea and finally ending the French versus English street sign debate.
But while Bathurst is revelling in their salvation, New Brunswick’s southern cities have an ominous dark cloud growing overhead.
“This makes no sense. All the big stores always go to Moncton. Or at least Fredericton. I don’t want to have to get my cheap and easy furniture in Bathurst,” spouted an irate Lynda Sorenson of Moncton.
“I’d even go to Saint John. Someone needs to tell those Swedes that they belong in one of the big three cities.”
This historic moment for Bathurst has some youth thinking twice about leaving the region after high school — easing the fears of an increasingly aging population.
“It’s almost like travelling abroad or working for a multinational company, but from home,” said Jonah Clarke, a Grade 12 student at Bathurst High School.
“I was going to go into engineering at UNB, but I can learn all those skills here now and just live with my parents to save money.”
Ikea plans to build their new warehouse in the Bathurst industrial park by February of 2015, and has stated that they will begin accepting job applications right away.