Saint John — Local teenager Martin Comeau recently admitted to Manatee reporters that he actually enjoys going to the stupid Atlantic National Exhibition when it comes to Saint John every year. He explained that he believed that it is “a fun little change of pace” for the city.
“I just think it’s kind of neat,” said Comeau, like a total tool. “The rides are all pretty fun, the food tastes good, and I like the games. The best part, though, is definitely the festive atmosphere.”
The festive atmosphere? Oh my god, Martin, could you be any more of a dork? Jesus… Although Comeau is the only teenager who admits to liking the exhibition, he is far from the only one in attendance. In fact, the fairgrounds are littered with young people every day of the week-long affair.
“Martin actually likes the exhibition? God, he sucks… the whole thing is so stupid,” said his super-hot classmate Jessica Fisher, who was standing in line for the Ferris wheel with a group of friends. “I mean, we all go to it — but only because Saint John is sooooo boring that there’s nothing better to do.”
Photo credit: Saint John Exhibition Facebook page
Yeah, Saint John is the worst. Comeau guided bored reporters through his annual visit. First, he goes on every single ride. Afterwards, he buys some food so he won’t get sick. And then, finally, he hits the game booths. “The ring toss is my absolute favourite,” he said while preparing to toss his first.
Of course. He would like playing the ring-toss — which is literally the stupidest game on the entire planet. He probably doesn’t even know that it is impossible to win because they make the rings too big for the stick, so it just bounces off. What a dumbass.
“I don’t know what it is,” said his mother, Anne Comeau, shrugging. “He has always liked going to the exhibition — ever since he was a young kid. Damned if I understand it.”
At the end of the day, as Comeau left the park carrying a misshapen plush Peter Griffin doll and smiling like an idiot, he turned to give the exhibition one final look.
“I can’t wait to come back next year,” he said.