Listicle: 10 toxic people you should boot out of your life, like, immediately

Atlantic Canada — Toxic people: they’re everywhere. You’ve met them at school, at work, even at home — they’re those individuals whose mere existence for some reason gives you a vaguely bad feeling.

They can be hard to identify, and even harder to get rid of. That’s why we at The Manatee have compiled a list of 10 toxic people to watch out for and to cut out of your life right now. They don’t deserve to have someone as amazing as you in their life.

1. The one who says something you disagree with: If someone says something that you don’t like, or worse, shares it online, that means they’re toxic. Do away with them for your own sanity.
2. The one who doesn’t listen when you talk about only yourself for hours: A real friend is intrigued by your problems no matter how objectively boring and solipsistic they are, and a friend never wants to talk about issues in their own life. If they’re not as absorbed in you as you are, they’re toxic.
3. The one who isn’t really living: These toxic people consider paying their bills and taking care of their families more important than seizing the day, living for the moment, or travelling the world on their parents’ dime. Cut. Them. Out.
4. The one who didn’t ‘like’ the selfie you posted: If someone doesn’t give your obviously hot selfie the thumbs-up and comment with a heart emoji, that means they think you’re ugly and not worth their time. But they’re not worth your time. Out they go!
5. The one who doesn’t come to your multi-level marketing sales party: Good people will buy the crap you’re peddling even if they can’t afford it and don’t have the time to attend these pointless events. If someone turns down your invite, they’re clearly toxic. You deserve better.
6. The person you’re dating: Chances are, no matter what this person does for you and how much they seem to like you, they’re hiding some sinister character flaw and are not giving you enough attention. Seeya later.
7. The one who calls you out on your bullshit: If a person recognizes your narcissistic nonsense and points it out, they’re toxic. True friends always just agree with you no matter how dumb your ideas may be.
8. Your mom: Ugh, why would she ask you to call her? Doesn’t she know that talking on the phone triggers your anxiety? Not today, Mom, not today.
9. The one who says something negative even once: Toxic people are notorious for having a range of emotions, thoughts, ideas and opinions, some of them not being positive. Get rid of them, like, immediately. You don’t need their insidious emotional complexity weighing you down.
10. Your boss: If he/she were really looking out for you, would they stress you out by asking you to complete “assignments” and to show up “on time”? This toxic person evidently thinks they’re above you. Are you really going to put up with that?