The Manatee has put together a list of the best Hallmark Day gift ideas for New Brunswickers.
1. Lobster: Nothing quite says romance like buying an animal and dropping it into a boiling-hot pot of water, and then tearing its body apart and dipping it in a bowl of butter. Don’t forget the napkin and bibs.
2. Roses: Giving someone a bouquet of flowers that they get to watch wither and die — much like love usually does — is among the most romantic gestures anyone can perform.
3. Ganong chocolates: From right here in New Brunswick. High in sugar, high in fat, high in price and high in letting someone know just how much you love them — just as long as they don’t make a habit of eating too many.
4. N.B.-themed lingerie: Come to bed wearing nothing but the flag of New Brunswick wrapped around that beautiful, 3rd-fattest-province-in-Canada body.
5. Tim Hortons gift card: $25 = 12 large double-doubles, 1 Boston cream, and a whole lotta love in return.
6. N.B.-themed love poem: “Roses are red, violets are blue, I have no job, Mom can I move back in with you?”
7. Romantic getaway: Really, anywhere outside of New Brunswick will do.