Moncton — Magnetic Hill has been “baffling visitors for over 80 years,” but none were more baffled than tourists Simon and Joan Springman, who discovered the famed attraction had in fact become demagnetized.
The couple visited Moncton last week to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary, but their visit quickly came to a halt. “We paid our 5 dollars, we drove to the spot and we waited,” remarked Mr. Springman. “But when we got there, the car just stood still. I feel so cheated.”
“We could hear screaming from other tourists,” Mrs. Springman remembered. “People were hysterical.”
The hill has since been shut down and it has Tourism New Brunswick very concerned. “This is truly bad news for Moncton, and all of New Brunswick, really,” said Tourism New Brunswick spokesperson Janica Hughes. “It’s a huge loss.”
Hughes said specialists are working around the clock to try and magnetize the hill once again. Workers were seen hauling large spools of insulating wire and batteries to the site, and a truck loaded with 10 tonnes of paperclips is expected to arrive this afternoon.
In the meantime, the Springmans are still upset and searching for answers. “We came here because we are big fans of Raffi and his album Bananaphone … he sings about Magnetic Hill in one of his songs. Now whenever I hear that song, I just cry. Who is responsible for this?”
I heard the demagnetization was the work of the russian lobbyists in Moncton who convinced the Mayor, George Leblanc, to do this in exchange of some form of electoral patronage. My sources from Moscow and with Ria Novosti News Agency suggested that the Hill caused many costly (and eventually potentially destructive) miscalculations for the Kremlin’s long range radar ICBM warning systems.
#toomanycommunistsonMCTcitycouncil
Insulating wires eh? The only negative effect I’ve noticed there is that the optical illusion of the hill has greatly been reduced by the nearby theme park. To add further fuel to this farce, the article doesn’t mention the type of vehicle that the Springman’s drive. If it was a Saturn or a Pontiac Lumina, the magnetism would not work anyway because of the plastic bodies. Corvette sports cars don’t work well there either because of their fibreglass bodies!
Satire. The entire site. All of it. Every word you read. Satire.
Sure thing, Cam. Next you’re going to tell us that there’s no Santa Claus?
Now I understand why the hill does not attract crowds to soerconcerts anymore.
Your supposed to put your car in neutral, not park…..
Well, that sure makes the Springmans look bad. They didn’t even do it properly before running to the media with this story!
Phew, I was afraid it was my when I accidentally left me de-gaussing equipment in my truck when I went through.