Fredericton — “Don’t take a hike, ride with Mayor Mike,” rhymed Mayor Mike O’Brien in a phone interview with The Manatee this afternoon. “Call on O’Brien, or you’ll be cryin’.”
The mayor has generously offered a free ride to any Frederictonians on New Year’s Eve who are too inebriated to drive or too broke to afford a cab.
“As mayor, I feel it’s my responsibility to ensure my constituents get home safely,” said O’Brien. “If they don’t arrive alive, they can’t vote for me in the next municipal election — and what good does that do me? If you’re out drinkin’, it’s of Mike you should be thinkin’.”
The mayor’s close friends and family are upset about the offer, because they wanted to ring in the new year with him. “He’s pretty much the most fun guy to drink with ever,” said one anonymous family member. “I was going to see if he wanted to hit up the Rogue or Gray Stone or something, but now he’s gotta stay sober. Lame, man. Lame.”
The mayor defended his plan by saying, “Skip the motorbike, text your Mayor Mike. I ain’t lyin’, hitch a ride with O’Brien.”
Our reporter was forced to end the interview because the rhyming became unbearably annoying. If you need a ride on Saturday night, text or call 555-MIKE.