Miramichi continues frivolous buying spree, acquiring Canaport LNG terminal for a $20 sheet

Miramichi continues frivolous buying spree, acquiring Canaport LNG terminal for a $20 sheet

Miramichi — The City of Miramichi has been on a bit of a buying spree as of late. City council recently acquired an armoured vehicle for their police force for a toonie, and now, the city is trying their hand in real estate by purchasing the Canaport LNG terminal in Saint John for the price of $20 Canadian.

Miramich Mayor Adam Lordon seemed pleased with the deal. “I feel this is a good investment for the people of Miramichi,” he said. “We’d been watching this property for a while now, and the price just kept dropping lower and lower.”

Many in the community believe council has overspent, as this investment was 10 times more than their latest expenditure, but Lordon stood behind the purchase stating, “Negotiations were tough. They declined our original offer of 15 Canadian Tire dollars, but in the end we were able to reach a deal that all parties were happy with.”

Irving Oil considers the agreement a shrewd business deal. “We don’t like paying taxes,” said Irving spokesperson Sean Lewis. “We had been aggressively looking for a buyer since our tax deal with the province was repealed. Did you see how the value has been dropping ever since?

“We thought it wise to cut our losses and accept Miramichi’s offer while it was still on the table,” Lewis concluded.

When asked what they planned to do with their newly acquired investment, Mayor Lordon responded, “There are lots of ideas floating around, but we are seriously considering putting a Sears department store in there. The company is booming, and the province will pretty much build it for us.”

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