Charlottetown — Springtime brings heavy rain and rising water levels in the Maritimes, and Prince Edward Island drivers are taking advantage of the wet road conditions to veer into puddles and splash innocent pedestrians, ruining their day. The practice has become so common that police have had to crack down on it, slapping a $175 on motorists caught intentionally splashing people.
Drivers, however, say the rush of splashing a stranger who’s just out for a walk is well worth the steep fine.
“It’s worth every penny,” said Charlottetown driver George Macy. “The look of terror on their face as I approach a huge puddle and steer right into it, their sudden realization that there’s no way they can escape in time, and the knowledge that the entirety of their day is probably wrecked — I’d pay a hell of a lot more than $175 for that.”
“It’s the most excitement you can hope for here in Charlottetown,” said another motorist, Nora McConnell. “If these pedestrians didn’t want to get splashed they shouldn’t be out walking in springtime. Who walks anymore, anyways?”
Some drivers say they get an even bigger thrill if the pedestrian they splash is nicely dressed.
“I saw this guy out wearing perfectly ironed beige dress pants and a pastel-coloured blazer, white sneakers, and carrying a paper bag with groceries in it,” said Terry Hoover, who was just fined $350 by police. “I had to splash him. By the time I was done with him, his whole bloody outfit was greyish-brown, his hair was plastered to his forehead, the grocery bag broke and everything fell out and rolled into the street. I loved it so much I had to splash him a second time for good measure. Well worth the two fines.”
Police say they don’t know how else to deter the mean gesture if a fine doesn’t work.
“Can we really, I don’t know, take someone’s licence just because they splashed someone on a sidewalk? That’s a little extreme,” said Const. Henry Moorehouse. “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t done it myself. I’ve done it many times, in fact. It’s pretty much irresistible. I guess… just… stay inside till summer if you don’t want to risk it.”