New Brunswick man knows every capital city, still can’t find job

New Brunswick man knows every capital city, still can’t find job

Zealand — Kyler Moorehouse-Brewer, 20, has come to the realization that his high school degree has done little to equip him with the necessary skill-set to land a job. He’s been on the hunt since he graduated this past June and has become increasingly frustrated with his failed attempts at securing a reliable income.

“I just don’t get it,” he complained. “I went to school for 12 years, 14 if you count the 2 years of kindergarten, and don’t have a clue what employers are looking for. I did pretty good in class, and learned all of the capital cities in Canada a bunch of times.”

“Go ahead, quiz me,” he dared our reporter. “I know Regina, Winnipeg, Toronto, heck I even know that Nunavut one there — Igaunalit or however ya say it.”

Moorehouse-Brewer’s most recent frustration comes after a trip to New Brunswick’s capital, Fredericton, where he said he handed out “all kinds of notes saying I wanted a job.”

“Gas ain’t cheep when you drive a jeep,” he said, seemingly proud of his poetic prowess. “I usually only go to the city when I need to run errands or catch a hockey game. And I can get cheap smokes from a guy I know there.”

The Manatee asked Moorehouse-Brewer whether he was ever given any training on how to write a resumé and whether he felt let down by the province’s education system.

“You’re sure right I feel let down,” he replied while leaning up against his gas-guzzling 1987 Jeep Wrangler, which ironically boasts a “Conservation” licence plate. “I was never once taught how to find a job, write a resumé or a cover letter. I know that Regina’s the capital of Saskatchewan though. And I know how to dissect a fetal pig, a worm and a fish if you need me to.”

He went on to tell our reporter that he’s not the only one in his family struggling to find work. “My 3 brothers Kyle, Kyland and Kye can’t find anything either. My sister Kyla got lucky though; she found a job at the Walmart in town.”

The Manatee tracked down one of the businesses where Moorehouse-Brewer had said he’d applied, a warehouse in Fredericton, but the manager, Samantha Clover, claimed to have never received an application from him.

“Maybe it’s this one?” Clover questioned as she pulled out a mostly blank piece of loose-leaf from a stack of applications. “Yeah, here it is I guess. I didn’t realize it was an application — all it has is his first name and an address that says ‘Zealand, about a half an hour from Fredericton, the capital city of New Brunswick.'”

  1. Lost it at “The capital city of new brunswick”

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  2. See that what wrong with the system he goes and study hard for 12 years and can;t find a job, he may as well quit in grade 5 and got on the welfare list like me and my buddies, we love it more and more, get married and pop a few kids out of her and then get family allowance, that is over 600 a month for each kid, my buddy has 4 and planning another one that 3000 a month.and no blue cross or dential, no wonder all those refuggees want to come to the land of milk and honey. every day is a holiday

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