Saint John — For most New Brunswickers, the rules of fall fashion are black and white. However, for one Saint John man, it is definitely a grey area.
IT consultant Noel LeBlanc is creating a stir in his uptown office tower by sporting his white cotton pants past Labour Day — a move that has colleagues turning pale.
“I don’t know what the hell he thinks he’s playing at,” fumed co-worker Baylee Bates. “Fashion has rules and if we don’t strictly adhere to them, we are no better than the ratchet! Or the basic even!
“Someone has to tell him. If we let this continue, the entire world of preconceived fashion norms will begin to collapse around us! Next thing you know we’ll all be wearing jean skirts with socks and Crocs!” she wept.
After being tipped off by a scathing anonymous email full of emojis, LeBlanc was incredulous about his faux-pas. “I’ve never heard of this stupid rule! And, these are my best pants! I just bought them on clearance two weeks ago,” he said.
“Is this like that goddamned ‘4 pleats’ thing that the stupid car company came up with?” LeBlanc questioned. “I’ve lived my entire frickin’ life without caring how many damn pleats are in my pants and I’m not starting now! Chevrolet can go straight to hell!
“Besides, since I washed them with that green towel, they aren’t even really white anymore. Kind of a light grey if you look closely. So, that doesn’t count, right?”
This incident is not LeBlanc’s first ticket from the fashion police. “He’s been wearing that shirt all summer with a stain about the size of a toonie,” claimed Bates. “It’s possible that he hasn’t noticed it, but I think he’s knows it’s there and he’s hoping that it’s just going to fade away with each wash. It’s not going away, Noel! Let it go already!”
When questioned, LeBlanc just smirked. “Stain? What stain?”