New Brunswick man thinks he’s dressed up

Saint-Quentin — Saint John man Dan Green could scarcely contain his excitement when he received an invitation to his cousin’s wedding in the mail late in February. Green hurriedly RSVP’d for the occasion, which took place this afternoon in a tasteful garden setting in Saint-Quentin, a small town in Restigouche County.

Green’s cousin, Sheryl Leroy, said that although she clearly indicated on the invitation that the event was formal, Green turned up in what appeared to be jeans, a polo shirt and a ball cap.

“I was pretty embarrassed and annoyed,” confided Leroy during the reception. “By the time I realized what he was wearing it was too late to ask him to change. And to make matters worse I actually saw him light up a cigarette while I was walking down the aisle… I breathed in the smoke and started coughing and choking and tearing up. It ruined that moment for me.”

Green, totally oblivious, told The Manatee that he believed Leroy’s tears to be those of joy.

“She seemed some pleased to be marryin’ that guy, and I couldn’t be happier for my cousin. That’s why I drove clear up here wearin’ my best dark jeans and my good camo hat — not the everyday one. I know how to make a good impression.”

When asked about the choice of shirt, Green was quick to explain.

“It’s my dressy polo — not one of those plain cotton ones you wear to work or your parents’ house. It’s even got a little bit of a sheen to it when the sun hits it a certain way… Must be the polyester blend.

“I got it at Giant Tiger half off!” he added proudly.

As the interview came to an awkward close, Green also asked that our reporter make sure readers are aware that he only buttons up his polo shirts all the way for very special, formal occasions including weddings, dates or semi-formal work parties.

“It’s one button done up for fancy work things, two buttons for a date, and three for weddings. If there’s one thing we got down pat in Saint John, it’s fashion.”