New dating app matches unemployed NBers with wealthy Albertans

Saint John – Lonely New Brunswickers aiming to augment their love life need look no further than Oilr, the latest dating app to hit New Brunswick smartphones.

The app, developed this month by third-year UNBSJ students Randy Timmons and Brody Taylor, matches unemployed New Brunswickers with job-rich Albertans.

“We were both using Tinder and Grindr and finding that everyone just wanted a hookup,” said Timmons at Java Moose’s Prince William Street café. “We also noticed that the dating pool was way too concentrated in New Brunswick. So, what you have is unemployed people meeting and hooking up, then going their separate ways, still trying to find that special someone — I mean someone wealthy — to help them out of their shaky financial situation.”

Potential users of the app need simply answer a brief questionnaire including queries such as “How much do you make yearly?” If the user enters a salary above what could be earned by exchanging their empties at the bottle depot, the app closes down and is unavailable for purchase (the cost is only $0.25, or 5 beer cans). If the criteria for Oilr is met, the user is free to browse rich Albertans galore — many of whom were born in New Brunswick but relocated and later struck it rich.

“I’m loving Oilr so far,” said Mandy Robichaud, 26. Robichaud is a part-time blogger who currently doesn’t earn any money. “I’ve been so sick of going for coffee dates with guys who can’t even scrounge up change to pay for my americano. With Oilr, I can see the guys’ salaries. A lot of New Brunswick guys who moved to Alberta are back visiting for the holidays, too, so my schedule’s booked with dates.”

The Manatee asked the developers why Albertans would want to use the app, knowing it matches them with New Brunswickers of questionable employment status. “I’m not sure exactly, but we’ve had a ton of interest since day one,” Taylor mused, rifling through his wallet for his fully stamped coffee card. “I guess it’s because New Brunswickers are so grateful, and have so much time to spend with their Alberta matches. Or it could just be that we’re all so good-looking.”

Check out the Google Play, Windows Phone app store and iTunes to download Oilr.

  1. ok – I love you all… so funny!

    Reply
  2. How lame…you write a story about this app and there’s no link to an app store or a web site? Is the Manatee a serious news source or not?

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  3. You know it’s a stupid manatee article when they can’t even get their fake facts straight. Another addition to the waste of space you call a news source.

    Reply
  4. For the benefit of your readers:
    sarcasm
    A tongue of which the user speaks of something the complete opposite of what the user means. It often has the best comedic value.
    Ex. 1: “I’m okay. Don’t mind the gaping wound and the sword protruding from my back. I’m fine. Feel like a million fucking bucks, dammit.”

    Ex. 2:
    “Is your car stuck in the mud?”
    “No, no, of course not. I’m only practicing how to spray mud using my tires.

    Jackass.”

    Reply
  5. Sad.. I am neither in Albert or NB ..only two cents I would add is that maybe the AB hotties love the app because they get why the NB hotties have no job..and respect that they stayed home to hold the fort…or wait for them to make it so they can date them 🙂

    Reply
  6. […] New dating app matches unemployed NBers with wealthy Albertans […]

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