Nova Scotia terrorists attack Elephant Rock to derail NB’s only tourism photo

Nova Scotia terrorists attack Elephant Rock to derail NB’s only tourism photo

Bay of Fundy — On Monday, approximately 200 tonnes of Elephant Rock, part of the world-famous Hopewell Rocks, was blasted to smithereens by a group of Nova Scotian terrorists who were likely hoping to ruin the only decent photo ever used by Tourism New Brunswick.

Elephant Rock, which was one of New Brunswick’s few claims to fame, is now little more than a pile of rubble, thanks to some deadly Halifax-manufactured TNT and the terrorists, who were posing as tourists from Caraquet. While so far little is known of the terrorists, some local eyewitnesses claim the group had put on terrible French accents and could be heard making snide remarks about New Brunswick during their entire destructive operation.

“They were being negative about New Brunswick — could just have easily been some Fredericton snobs. How was I s’posed to know they were evil Nova Scotians?” said one witness.

Nova Scotia has long claimed the Bay of Fundy to be their own attraction, while New Brunswick maintains that the bay and the Hopewell Rocks belong to the Picture Province. “I’m pretty sure Farmers Dairy must have been in on it,” mused Monctonian Rebecca Goodine while shovelling ice cream into her mouth. “They’re based in Nova Scotia, aren’t they? And just look at this — the picture on their Fundy Mudslide ice cream has already been updated to show the destroyed rock!”farmers

With that rock’s appearance drastically altered, Tourism New Brunswick now has little choice but to toss all 28 million reproductions of that one photo — you know the one — into the Bay of Fundy.

“Nova Scotians can never just let us have anything!” cried Daryll Delotte, a Tourism NB employee of 20 years. “That rock was the only thing drawing people here, the only decent spot to take a photo, and I dare say the only reason I bothered to get up every morning. With it gone, I’m probably going to get sacked, along with most of my co-workers. And I’ll probably have to move to Halifax to find work — just what those terrorists want!”

The iconic and endearingly redundant photo, which will not be shown here since everyone from New Brunswick has had its image permanently seared into their brains over the years, has finally been rendered utterly obsolete.

“That photo of Elephant Rock was on our very Medicare card!” exclaimed Saint John resident Danika Riley, overcome with grief. “What does this mean for our healthcare system? Is that going to fall apart now too?”

The Hopewell Rocks official Facebook page created a heartfelt status about the collapse, saying simply and sadly: “Has anyone seen my elephant?”

  1. I wonder if the rocks being demolished had anything to do with the New Brunswick government saying it’s time they came down .in the talk about all the valuable shale deposit existing there.

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  2. Are you sure it was the Quebec terrorist?

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  3. It is a rock, who cares. More important things to worry about.

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  4. l never went to just see one rock, That’s a beautiful place to go anytime and brought my family from Ontario down and we all went to Hopewell Rocks, lt’s just amazing

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  5. Are you it’s not Irving Oil doing fracking, now that Quebec is going to deny the pipeline to their refinery.

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  6. If this upsets you, with everything going on in the world today. You need to get a life and give yourself a reality check. This isn’t news.

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    • You’re right, “This isn’t news”..

      All content (including without limitation likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc., collectively, “Content”) hosted on The Manatee websites and associated social media accounts (“The Manatee Sources”) is fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously.

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    • If you can’t recognize satire and tongue in cheek humour, perhaps it is you who needs the reality check. lol

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  7. Terrorists? Anything for a storyline it seems.

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  8. Thomas Trappenberg March 15, 2016, 8:09 pm

    Hopewell is a wonderful place. Destroying such a magical place tells a lot about a sense of nature and community values. It is not just a rock.

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  9. Disappointed Canadian March 15, 2016, 8:50 pm

    Are we really calling these people terrorists?! Obviously the people in this article don’t know what terror means. It’s sad and pointless destruction of our own beautiful country by our own people. Not terror inducing, only heart breaking. An act of ignorance.. What hurts a few Canadians now hurts us all in the future. I hope we all realized that some day.

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    • The saddest part about all of this are the people who believe this! PEOPLE!?! Wake up! Don’t believe everything you read.. The true story is 200 tones of rock fell off but not from terrorists but nature. Question things before you reply to a topic to avoid sounding gullible.

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  10. Disappointed Canadian March 15, 2016, 8:51 pm

    Are we really calling these people terrorists?! Obviously the people in this article don’t know what terror means. It’s sad and pointless destruction of our own beautiful country by our own people. Not terror inducing. An act of ignorance.. What hurts a few Canadians now hurts us all in the long tun. I hope we all realized that some day soon.

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  11. NB’s only tourism photo!?!? That’s crap, how about Campobello’s East Quoddy Head Lighthouse, St. Andrews Algonquin hotel, St. Stephen Ganong Chocolate Factory, St. John’s Reversing Falls…want more? Let me know lol

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  12. To those of you making comments about it just being rocks, you must not have ever seen them. They are part of N.B. history and many people were employed there and will now lose their jobs. Terrorists in the east have demolished many ancient artifacts. What is the purpose of that? I feel for the people of N.B. who have suffered this loss and hope they find the people responsible. It was a really nice place to visit.

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  13. Hopewell Rocks have been part of N.B. history for many years and there are many people employed there who will now be out of work. The terrorists in the east have blown up and destroyed many ancient artifacts in the past few years and WHY??? It was a great place to visit and will be missed. It is a disgrace that there are those who cannot live in peace. My heart goes out to all those who are directly affected by this atrocity.

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  14. It is Satire at it’s best .Get a grip people .There are still lots left to see even at the cape !!!

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  15. That’s funny, the comments are as entertaining as the article. Who’s the author Donald Trump?

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  16. http://globalnews.ca/news/2578029/iconic-new-brunswick-rock-collapses/?sf22576407=1
    A spokesman for New Brunswick’s Hopewell Rocks provincial park says a large section of the flowerpot rock known as “the Elephant” caved in Monday morning.

    “I get a little choked up I am a little emotional when it comes to this place I am a little emotional it is very dear to me,” interpreter Fran Steeves told Global News.

    Steeves has been a tour guide at Hopewell Rocks for more than a decade. She said that of all the rocks that could fall victim to erosion, this is the last one she expected to see crumble.

    The rock is one of 17 such formations on the Hopewell Rocks shoreline and is best known for its depiction on New Brunswick’s Medicare card.

    Kevin Snair, the park’s supervisor of interpretive services, says recent temperature swings likely contributed to the collapse. More rocks fall in the spring than any time of the year.

    Snair discovered the caved in rock on Monday morning while walking up the beach.

    “I was thinking ‘oh please let him be okay,’ and sure enough when I came to the other side he was split in half,” Snair said Tuesday.

    Snair says when the snow melts, water flows into cracks in the rocks, then freezes again when temperatures drop at night, which weakens the stone.

    Because of the fall, he’s asking curious visitors hoping to catch a glimpse of the fallen “Elephant” to keep their distance – more rocks could tumble down at any time.

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  17. Now that Funnny !!! LMAO …..Nova Scotia based Terrorist !!!

    What was his wearing a yellow southwester hat matching yellow over coat and hip length rubber boots sipping a bottle of Maple syrup Shine with a Donair stuffed in his pocket

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  18. the rock that rolled March 16, 2016, 12:49 am

    terrorists attacking rocks? what’s next ? better guard your cabbage patch(insert sarcasm here) LMAO

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  19. Oh my….are people actually believing this is true? That it was NS terrorists?? ?? Its nature folks. It’s most definitely sad to see the formation collapse, but it’s Mother Nature to blame….not terrorists. Ridiculous that people believe such nonsense.

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  20. This is a made up, Google the real story and you will see that if fell from erosion not explosives, think of it for a minute, if someone blew it up it would be all over the news across Canada and there would be a manhunt for those responsible because TNT is illegal for someone to have without license to have it yet alone use it in a national park. News reports like this only creates hate and is very harmful. I have reported this post to be taken down.

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  21. Maritimers, they’ll make you laugh, even at a funeral or in this case a crumbling rock.
    Dear New Brunswickers, please stay away from our Balancing Rock. Yours truly, N.S.

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  22. We can’t let this happen. Our militia and concerned general public should be prepared to strike back. Our target should be their beloved Citadel Hill. We will storm the gates and prevail!

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  23. This is amazing. The comments are WAY more entertaining than the story.

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  24. He was shouting ” Down with the causway as he carried out his diabotical deed !!!!

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  25. This is called erosion folks, a normal thing to happen to the earth with tides coming in and out.

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  26. Anyone saying this is Nova Scotias only tourism catch hasn’t been to Nova Scotia. The maritimes in general are packed with amazing places and people. Seriously, take off the tinfoil hat. This wasn’t a terrorist attack.

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  27. Next thing you know they’ll sabotage our fracking industry. Fracking Gas Holes !!

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  28. It was the Pirates of Halifax who blew it up with their cannon !
    http://www.piratesofhalifax.com

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  29. Please , this was a joke storyline… I for one loved the Hopewell Rock…It was like Nova Scotia no longer having Peggys Cove Rock /Lighthouse anymore…. It may seem petty to miss it but it was an attraction and a very nice one at that.

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