Rousselle’s multiple personalities divided on beer ruling

Rousselle’s multiple personalities divided on beer ruling

Fredericton — Brian Gallant’s lucky number of 13 ministers may be the smallest cabinet in 50 years, but wearing so many hats may be causing issues with the team’s mental health. In some cases, a minister’s profession or posts could come into conflict with each other causing mental stress and confusion. Some experts believe this role overload is causing some ministers of the Crown to become prone to multiple personality disorder.

Last week, Attorney General Serge Rousselle was asked for his opinion on the recent cross-border Quebec beer battle. When asked if the struck-down legislation was still in effect, Rousselle said, “As a law professor, I would be more than pleased to answer that question. As the attorney general, I have to say that it is not my call. It’s the RCMP’s call and [up to] the Crown prosecutor’s office to decide that.”

While seeming to be of two minds, Rousselle continued speaking to give multiple and sometimes competing perspectives. “As the Minister of Education I think the law should be taught to students once we figure out what it is. As a member of the Policy Board, I think it needs to be studied intently, and perhaps we need to make a new policy regarding how we enforce this law. As chair of the Standing Committee on Law Amendments, I think we need public hearings on the bill so we can hear expert testimony on interprovincial legal precedents on trade.”

Strangely, Rousselle started to zone out a bit and stare right through the reporters as he continued to ramble incoherently, identifying himself as people who he clearly was not. “As the mother of 2 rambunctious young boys, I know a cold beer can really help a mom unwind after a long day. As a Boston terrier, I can attest that that even small amounts of alcohol can cause life-threatening toxicity to canines, woof woof! I’m 81 years old — I will drink as much as I goddamn please and eff you if you don’t like it!”

At that point Rousselle’s communications staff broke in and, taking him by both arms, slowly led him away. Meanwhile, the minister of many portfolios continued speaking intensely — ostensibly to no one. When contacted for comment, Rousselle’s office told The Manatee that he is planning on taking multiple sick leaves and spending time with several very close friends.

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