Spicy new evidence rocks courtroom in Oland trial

Spicy new evidence rocks courtroom in Oland trial

Fredericton — Dennis Oland has been released on bail and is awaiting a new trial regarding the case of the murder of Richard Oland. The judge watched in astonishment Tuesday morning as once again the key piece of evidence, the brown Hugo Boss blazer, was brought into question.

The blazer, within the confines of the trial, has quite a history. Originally Oland stated he was wearing a navy sports coat, but surveillance footage from the night his father Richard was murdered revealed he was indeed wearing a brown sports coat.

Initially there were 5 distinct blood stains found to be a positive match for Richard Oland’s on the jacket in question; however, a new spatter of red substance was found on the right cuff that was not noticed during the initial forensic analysis.

Oland’s defense lawyer, Alan Gold, had lab technologist Tanisha Demerchant reveal the DNA results for the newfound spatter. “What we have found is not blood; we have in fact identified 5 different substances,” said Demerchent. “Roma tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, oregano, and a dash of cinnamon.”

Gold approached the bench with a receipt linking the officer involved in seizing the evidence, Const. David MacDonald, to the purchase of a large pepperoni pizza from Vito’s moments after the seizure.

Gold then produced shocking video footage of MacDonald entering Vito’s wearing the brown sports coat and subsequently ingesting an entire pizza in a caveman-like manner while slouched behind the wheel of his stationary squad car.

MacDonald released a statement after the bail hearing:

“I apologize for my sloppy police work. I knew it was probably the only time I would ever be able to wear an $800 blazer. Not to mention Vito’s pepperoni pizza is to die for.”

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.

%d bloggers like this: