Saint John — Saint John city solicitor Stacy Graham received a notice of action with a statement of claim from the Toronto offices of Vice Canada this morning. The papers allege that while on a trip to the Port City to photograph and write about interesting sights, Vice journalist Rebecca Morgan encountered an “uncharacteristically dense degree of fog” that caused “potentially thousands” of dollars’ worth of damage to her hair.
In an email to The Manatee, Morgan clarified that the fog she encountered was so dense that it could not have possibly been a naturally occurring event, thereby making the city liable for any ensuing damage. “I came to your shitty town to do you guys a favour,” she wrote. “I wanted to add Martello Tower to an upcoming Vice Guide called ‘Best Spots in Canada to do Butt-Stuff While High’… but you can forget about all that now.”
The email continued for 10 pages to detail all of the work that would be required to repair the dreadlocks. The list included the delicate use of crochet hooks and repeated clockwise rubbing. “It’s not just the parts, it’s the labour.”
After consulting with a representative in the city’s financial management department, Graham appeared eager to settle the matter out of court and as quickly as possible. “So, I guess were still broke from the snow removal 2 winters ago,” said Graham, who added that matters could be made worse if it is decided that court proceedings will take place in Ontario.
“While it is improbable that Vice’s lawyers could pull (that) off… it is equally improbable that an Ontario judge would understand that that’s just what our weather is like.”
The stupidity of alot you morons is laughable lmao…