Gander — Newfoundlanders are enthusiastic about their unique time zone, and have always scoffed at the idea of joining Maritimers in the Atlantic Time Zone, which is half an hour behind the Newfoundland Time Zone.
With this unexpected late-May snowstorm, though, Newfoundland has voted to just go for it and push their time zone a full half-year ahead of the rest of Atlantic Canada.
“So it’s May 24th over in New Brunswick, so, let’s see, that puts us at…November 24th here on the rock,” said Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Dwight Ball, donning a toque and grabbing a shovel. “Yep, this weather is nothing out of the ordinary for late-November. I’ve seen snowstorms this time of year plenty of times when I was a boy.”
Parts of central Newfoundland got 40 centimetres of snow yesterday. Gander local Judith Drake said her house was pummelled and her car buried in snow.
“All right! First snow day of the year!” she exclaimed. “I couldn’t make it in to work today, so I think I’m just gonna start my Christmas shopping online. It seems like we just got the decorations down and already it’s the holiday season. Time flies when you’re half a year ahead!”
Another Gander native, Hank Laurie, said it’ll be cool to be able to buy legal weed six months before his cousins over on Prince Edward Island, and to celebrate his birthday for the second time this year, in a few months.
“I hope I get a snowblower!” he told The Manatee. “Or a lawnmower for what’ll no doubt be a major Christmas heat wave.”
Our reporter left to go ponder whether any of that made sense.
Those of us stuck in the Atlantic Time Zone are a bit confused, but overall happy that we haven’t skipped summer entirely.
“Summer is the only thing worth living for in this country…I guess it’s up to those crazy Newfies if they just want to throw it away. But come on, they’re obviously desperate for attention,” said skeptical New Brunswicker Gerry O’Donnell, with an exaggerated eye-roll.
“I’d say it sounds like an April Fool’s prank, but their April Fool’s is going to be in our October, now…wait, is that right? Man, this is gonna be some tough to keep track of.”