New Maryland — Tuesday morning, animal control responded to a complaint made by a concerned citizen about a neighbourhood dog that was left outside enjoying the beautiful weather for far too long.
“I walked by and saw this dog just basking in the sunshine and really just loving the fresh air and life in general,” described the New Maryland resident who asked to remain anonymous. “It was disgusting — that dog should be cooped up inside a house all day like the way dogs were meant to live.”
The neighbour decided not to bother talking to the dog’s owner and went straight to calling the authorities.
“What else was I supposed to do?” he asked The Manatee. “Act like a decent human being and maybe talk to the owner and give him a chance to explain himself or rectify the problem before being faced with the possibility of losing his beloved family dog? That’s ridiculous — if you see a fire, you don’t go talk to the homeowner, you call the fire department.”
Our reporter asked the neighbour whether the dog had been causing a commotion.
“No, he was just lying there, enjoying the breeze and stuff. But, come on. He didn’t have TV, he didn’t have heat or lights — besides the sun, that is. He didn’t have anything other than fresh water and a bowl of food! Something had to be done immediately.”
The anonymous tattler also called animal control a few weeks earlier when he saw a different dog left inside for the entire day.
“I think there needs to be a healthy mix of indoor and outdoor time,” he explained. “To be a responsible dog owner, you should have a schedule set where you come home from work every hour on the hour to let your dog outside and then back inside. I know this not from my years as a dog owner, but from my constant complaints about people doing it wrong.”
Jack Chrisson, the dog’s owner, was shocked to receive the call from the SPCA.
“I love that dog so much,” he said. “I rescued him from the SPCA, who told me that he had been abused and deprived of food and love. It was such a beautiful day that it made much more sense to let him hang out safely and quietly outside with all the amenities he needed rather than have him inside staring out the window all day and pooping on the floor — but what do I know?”
Chrisson went on to detail the list of demands now imposed for the care of the dog moving forward.
“The dog has to have access to heat, lights and running water at all times,” described Chrisson. “He has to have an upgraded cable package and I have to teach him how to choose the shows he might want to watch. I have to buy him a special La-Z-Boy doggy-recliner to keep him comfortable, and ironically I have to play “Who let the dogs out?” on a continuous loop even though the answer moving forward will be no one — no one let the dogs out.”
Sarah Louise, spokesperson for animal control, explained the mandate to our reporter.
“We all know that dogs require tons of indoor play and exercise and this will hopefully ensure that happens.”
This is ridiculous! What if the dog gets skin cancer? That owner should be shot.