New Brunswick — While most New Brunswickers have had enough of winter before it’s even officially begun, some annoying people are smiling and gleefully passing on their joy that there will be plenty of snow on the ground in time for Christmas.
“It’s going to be so amazing to wake up to a white Christmas next week,” gleamed a vibrant Hillary Boner of Fredericton. “The way the lights glisten off the snow just makes it feel like when I was a kid — it brings joy to my heart.”
Boner’s husband didn’t share his wife’s enthusiasm about snow.
“Yeah, she doesn’t have to shovel the friggin’ steps, snow-blow the yard, put salt on the walkway or clean off her car,” he angrily grumbled. “All she does is sit on her fat butt playing on her phone and making Facebook posts about how beautiful it is outside…while she never goes outside to enjoy said beauty. Drop the chocolates and pick up a shovel — then we’ll see how beautiful it is.”
Our reporter hit the streets of Fredericton and quickly found that the large majority of residents would much rather it be a green Christmas, and most are very annoyed when people talk about how much they love the snow.
“What’s to love about it?” asked Jenny Gibson. “It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s heavy, it makes everything suck. If I hear one more person tell me that it makes it feel like Christmas, or that they love how pretty it is or whatever, I’m probably going to punch them right right in their annoying face.”