Saint John — “Enough with being a pussy,” said Thomas Gilcrest, Jr., while polishing his bicycle in his parents’ garage.
“2017 is gonna be about taking care of business. Wanna know my ‘New Year’s resolution’? Watch Transporter 2.”
While Thomas’s friends and siblings took little notice of his newfound motivation, both of his parents overheard him talking to himself in his room at 9 p.m., Dec. 29. While Joyce Gilcrest, Thomas’s mother, is happy that her son has found hope from such an unlikely source, she can’t help but add some resolutions of her own.
“If ‘taking care of business’ includes doing his homework and keeping his room clean, then I’m all for it.”
Thomas Gilcrest, Sr. claims to have caught his son trying on his suit. When asked to comment, the younger Gilcrest told The Manatee: “Look… professionalism is a big deal for me… unlike some people I know. If I’m gonna be taken seriously in the coming year — and I intend to be taken seriously — I have to look the part.”
Gilcrest, Jr. is currently serving as Assistant Equipment Manager of a middle school basketball team. He intends to try out as a player, but maintains that he is “still exploring all his options.”
Transporter 2 is a 2005 film starring England’s Jason Statham in which Statham transports things.