Canadians to continue not listening to Hedley amid sexual misconduct allegations

Canadians to continue not listening to Hedley amid sexual misconduct allegations

Atlantic Canada — More and more allegations of sexual misconduct against Hedley frontman Jacob Hoggard are arising, and while Canadians are disgusted by the news, most of us are also thankful for one thing: the fact that Hedley is a shit band that nobody really liked to begin with.

“If we have to boycott a band, it’s kind of nice that it’s one that truly sucks anyway. I don’t have to change my habits whatsoever to show solidarity with these women,” said Tyler Michaels, 33, of Halifax. “What do they even play, like…emo? Is that a genre?”

“I’ve always been more of a Radiohead kinda guy,” concurred Kyle Urban, 29, of Summerside. “Never been into shitty psuedo-rock-pop boy bands that I’m pretty sure came from American Idol. Terrible what this guy has been doing, but at the same time, I’m glad it’s not someone from a good band.”

Sara Donaldson is a Moncton-based DJ who told us she’s never once had a request for a Hedley song.

“No matter how drunk people are in the club, never — I mean never in all my years — has anyone yelled ‘Put on some Hedley!’ It’s just not happening. So yeah, I have no problem boycotting them.”

Donaldson considers herself a music aficionado, and even she could not name a single Hedley hit.

“It’s all too generic to remember or care,” she said with a shrug. “I’m ashamed that this douche is from Canada, but I’m pretty happy to say I couldn’t pick out a song of theirs if my life depended on it.”

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