Moncton — The French and Italian reign of romance is over. The New Brunswick-based language Chiac has been voted the most beautiful spoken language by linguists from all over the world in this quarter’s edition of Babel, a popular language magazine.
New Brunswick will be replacing Venetian gondolas with 4x4s, Parisian sidewalk cafés with “the camp,” and French baguettes with DIY cigarettes, a can of loose tobacco and a pack of Zig Zag rolling papers.
When asked about the new economic opportunity, local Chiac speaker Marc-André LeBlanc was enthusiastic. “C’est amazing! Je suis very excited!” Of course, LeBlanc had a lot more to say, but our reporter, who speaks both French and English, was only able to interpret this small part, which was still paraphrased.
Tourism New Brunswick aims to capitalize on its new claim to fame by offering Chiac-based tourism packages, such as the following deal for just $1,000 per week:
- Tout ce que tu peux eat bread, Compliments Chicken Weiners, and Sunrise Bologna
- 1 dozen eggs per la personne, feel free to bring yer own
- Camo jacket rental for la semaine
- Un container de la tabac each
- Rollers can be loué for $25
- Week at le camp
- Manèges on la 4×4
- 24 Alpine beers
The expected tourism boom doesn’t come as a shock to New Brunswick Premier Brian Gallant, though. The premier demonstrated his confidence in the Chiac language, stating that he’s, “always known New Brunswick French was the future of international French. It’s basically English so why not put the two together?”
Gallant hopes the tourism will help with creating jobs throughout the province as well. “New Brunswick is running out of call centres to subsidize, and New Brunswickers are starting to realize they’re all the same, so hopefully this works out.”
Sell Off Vacances, the Chiac spinoff of Sell Off Vacations, has reported some difficulty with tourists booking these long sought-after trips. The Bathurst store manager, who also happened to be named Marc-André LeBlanc, is having difficulty with his staff closing deals with patrons over the phone.
“Our sales agents keep getting upset that everyone is trying to book in English, and halfway through the conversation they claim they don’t speak English and hang up on the customers,” he sighed.
Sell Off Vacances is trying to be patient with its new Chiac employees, but if the problem continues, LeBlanc says something will have to be done. “We’ve considered going backwards and hiring all English only speakers. What’s the point of our workers knowing two languages if they refuse to speak the second?”
Time will tell whether the endeavour will work out for the province, but packages have already been sold for as early as Canada Day. Bienvenue to New Brunswick, everyone!
This is utterly absurd. I don’t believe any of the world’s most respected linguists share this opinion. Additionally Chiac cannot be considered a langauge, since it lacks any consistent structure or grammar.
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Ca se whoosher straight over ton tete la, hein?
Educate yourself on the origines of the chiac language before you judge us.
You ain’t to bright are ya. This is a satire website, and writes fake stories to be funny, and as a joke. Anyone who reads articles from this site, and think they are trying to be factual can’t be the sharpest tools innthe shed. Just saying. Lol vive l’acadie pis le chiac.
How can you edit misspelled words ,as you know iPhones spell what’s programmed and on top of that it’s very small keyboard my thumb is too big I guess, should proofread before posting
On le savais déjà !
Ej figure qu’il y aura plein de chavirés qui vont écrire leurs commentaires à moitié zinzin. Ça les encouragera.
Dans les mots d’une de nos icônes :
“Venez nous ouère.”
On est du monde pas bin bodré pi y a pas much qui nous dérange. On est bin che nous pi y’a d’la place en masse pour tout le monde.
Je amour Musique De Cowboy. Just so you know the Parisians do NOT understand NB French. This has to be a joke
Les parisiens surement pas, mais les français de province OUI on comprend le français NB ou acadien 🙂
Here is something in chiac for all the negetive comments ” Relaxer ma bunch de crack, c’est inque un article”
Is this the oringinal Frenglish – the phenomenon of diglossia or the macaronic mixture of the French (français) and English (anglais) languages.
must be one of those bigot and jealous English of NB the only place in Canada that the English are constant criers that wrote this excuse of news
Ça me piss right off quand que tchequ’un prend la peine de toute écrire un huge article à propos du Chiac sans même botherer de user du vrai Chiac!
Shu d’accord avec toi