Miramichi — A greyhound bus with exotic dancers from Montreal took a wrong turn this past weekend and offloaded approximately 60 female strippers at a Miramichi fishing tournament. Due to a sudden firestorm on social media, the colossal mixup caused a spike in last-minute entries, causing record attendance at the event.
One performer named “Candy” was charmed by the gentlemen at the tournament. “Everyone is so nice here!” she exclaimed. “The guys are offering by the dozens to take us out on the boats for a spin! But, the only poles here are fishing poles… I’m not sure how we’re going to be able to perform.”
The Striper Cup is an annual striped bass fishing tournament held in May on the Miramichi River, with thousands in cash prizes at stake. In recent years, the river has become famous for its striper fishing with dozens of boats on the water on any given weekend during the summer months. However, even the largest fishing competition in Eastern Canada was unprepared for this commotion.
“It’s crazy!” said one tournament official as he struggled to cope with the influx of new anglers and girls running amok through the crowds. For much of the day, fishing had all but ground to a halt as the drinks came out and girls were seen riding around in everything from john boats, canoes, homemade party barges and bass boats.
Many of the wandering women were wondering where they could get in costume and start preparing for their routines. Some began changing in the hallways with admittedly eager volunteers holding up their jackets for the dancers to change behind.
Representatives postponed the tournament for six hours to regain control of the event and gather the stray dancers from the various waterways and coves. Once brought back to shore, they were ushered onto their bus where officials explained the error. “Oh no, I was hoping to win the grand prize to pay my tuition,” lamented 27-year-old “Ebony,” sparkling in glitter.
However, the disappointment was obviously one-sided. “This is like the best tournament ever!” declared one angler after reviewing his countless selfies with the accidental attendees. “I can’t wait until next year!”