Fredericton — The weather outside is frightful, but these days not too much is delightful. As the province continues to be buffeted by a seemingly never-ending onslaught of nor’easters, some locals have begun to once again decorate their homes and yards for the holiday season, but not the period-appropriate one.
“It’s already St. Patrick’s Day,” Marvin Walker told The Manatee. “I ironed my favourite green pants and even got my fancy leprechaun hat out of the crawl space at home. I’m not crazy, but I can’t really say the same about my neighbours.”
Walker explained that his neighbours, Charles and Anna Jones, have recently begun to decorate their home with Christmas lights and different ornaments, which according to him includes and giant inflatable snowman in the yard and a massive Christmas tree visible through their living-room window.
“They’re both retired and don’t leave their house too often. Nice folks, they truly are, but I don’t think they own a calendar.”
Walker explained that it all started three days ago during the height of a blizzard. “I thought I was losing my mind at first. The wind was screaming by my window, but there was another sound within it, a familiar song that I couldn’t quite place at first. It took me a while to figure it out, but it was ‘Jingle Bell Rock.’ It was late, I was tired, and after seeing the snow and hearing the music even I became convinced for a moment. I turned on my computer and began searching for Black Friday deals before snapping myself out of the trance.”
The snow weighs heavily on all those who are forced to survive through it, and the uniform and all-encompassing whiteness can sometimes cause confusion in those who aren’t grounded by routine and schedule.
“My wife baked a whole tray of reindeer cookies last night,” said Walker. “They were delicious, but that’s not the point. It’s mid-March, I told her. Snap out of it. She was almost in tears when she finally realized. In this case we really don’t want to keep up with the Joneses, but it’s tough. It really does feel like the holiday season, but as I told my wife and the Joneses, it’s neither Christmas nor Easter.”
After speaking the final phrase Walker shuddered uncomfortably.