Covered Bridge launches ‘Les Munchies’ chips for Oct. 17

Hartland — From the company that brought us Storm Chips and The Weekender, a new chip is in town just in time for the enactment of the Cannabis Act.

“October 17th is just as meaningful for Maritimers as snow days and weekends, so why not have a chip honouring the legalization of marijuana?” said Covered Bridge sales representative Gwyn Forrester. “Quite a few names for the snack were thrown around in the board room — such as ‘Chip-45’ or ‘Edibles’ — but eventually we figured ‘Les Munchies’ would convey everything we wanted this chip to really say, you know? Everyone who gets baked knows what it’s like to get the munchies, and this chip is gonna be the answer to that little problem.”

So, why the “Les” in the name?

“This speaks to the company’s efforts to help calm political tensions around language issues, and to bridge the language gap here in Canada’s only officially bilingual province,” said Forrester. “And it’ll just sound cool. Think of being stoned and going into the nearby convenience store, and asking, ‘Hey man, I got a mad case of ‘Les Munchies’…do you?’

“Also, Frito-Lay were threatening to sue us if we called them simply ‘Munchies,’ because according to them it sounds too similar to their ‘Munchos’ chips. As if anyone eats those things even when they’re stoned.”

Forrester explained that Les Munchies will taste like a mish-mash of things New Brunswickers crave when high.

“So like pizza, donairs, Pop Tarts, ramen, chocolate chip cookies, Oreos, Lunchables…and like, we’re pretty much just putting all our other chips flavours into this one, too. Yeah, I know it sounds gross, but trust me, it’s not. It’s like…just so good, it’ll blow your mind.”

Cannabis NB storefront manager Dirk O’Connell said that, after trying Les Munchies, he plans to recommend the chips to all his customers.

“When people come in wanting weed, they’re no doubt gonna want ideas for snacks too, right?” he said, ripping into a bag of Les Munchies, chomping down a handful, then licking his fingers in a disgusting manner.

“Jesus Murphy these are some good!!” he exclaimed, before embarking on a long and ultimately meaningless rant about how insignificant all our lives are in the grand scheme of the universe.