New Brunswick — The list of potential marriage partners is about to get a lot more…intimate.
Because COVID-19 restrictions in the province still recommend physical distancing except within your close family-and-friend bubble, New Brunswick is creating its own marriage rules distinct from the rest of the country.
“With dwindling populations, can we really risk waiting for a vaccine to get people married and having babies?” asked Premier Blaine Higgs. “I say we need to stop being so picky and start noticing just how attractive that sibling or parent can be in the right lighting. I mean, hey, it’s not like you have many other options.”
Service New Brunswick employee Jeff MacPherson weighed in on the new rules.
“It’s surprising, maybe, but what a lot of people don’t realize is that they’ve always been allowed to marry first cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. But now you can marry pretty much anyone in your family. Desperate times call for desperate measures, eh?
“Just check out this older list Service New Brunswick provides! It’s pretty darn small as it is,” he added, pointing out the page of the SNB website shown below:
“It’s harder than ever to meet new people,” said Diana Eaton of Fredericton. “If someone wants to marry their sister or dad or son because those are the people in their house, I say more power to ’em. I’ve noticed that Tinder has kind of dropped off since coronavirus — it’s too risky to meet strangers in bars or have random hookups. Better to keep it in the family.”
Our reporter ventured to Zealand, N.B., where residents seemed to be unaware of the news, but were acting on it anyway.
“I got engaged last year and plan on getting married this summer,” Beth Brewer told us, even though we didn’t ask.
“That’s right,” said her brother, Larry. “And we couldn’t be happier.”