Dominic Cardy trapped in tweet storm

Dominic Cardy trapped in tweet storm

Twitterverse — New Brunswick politician Dominic Cardy is reported to be trapped in a tweet storm with no way out. The Department of Education and Early Childhood Development has confirmed that Cardy has not raised his head from his phone in the past 72 hours.

“We have asked the Chief Medical Officer for her advice, but we don’t always listen to her,” said department spokesperson Daniel Albert.

Fuelling the tweet storm is what experts are calling a “perfect storm” of chicken memes, confusing logic that never reaches a conclusion, and a pissing contest between a Green Party member and whatever Cardy is.

Cardy’s “posing” accusation to MLA Kevin Arseneau was referring to “Maoist posing,” which reportedly is not a thing, and which Arseneau mistook for being called a poser like in high school, firing back with a playlist to show just how punk he really is. A reporter for the Telegraph-Journal was only slightly impressed, stating: “Not too bad…” followed by a statement on how many more Warped Tours he had attended. This actually happened, but not necessarily in that order…

Dr. Murray Emery, a political science professor at UNB, is praising the tweet storm, saying engagement on social media is a good use of a politician’s time.

“What people need to understand is Twitter is the new village square,” said Emery. Asked how Donald Trump’s Twitter account fits into his village square analogy, Emery replied, “That’s a toughie. I need a paid sabbatical think about it.”

Meanwhile, work at the department of education is at a standstill until the minister returns, which apparently is a good thing.

“Schools are reporting the most productive week in years,” said Albert. “It’s almost as if bureaucrats mucking with education doesn’t really help teachers teach…no, that can’t be right. Teachers need policy. Rigid, contradicting, spaghetti-string policy. The more, the better, as we say at the department.”

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