Easter Bunny recovering after tragic nor’easter mix-up

Easter Bunny recovering after tragic nor’easter mix-up

Norton — Millions around the world are praying for the quick recovery of a beloved figure after he was found close to death in severe winter weather.

Peter Cottontail — known to many as “The Easter Bunny” — was found frostbitten and barely alive outside of Norton, New Brunswick on Friday.

Despite Easter still being 14 weeks away, it seems that all of the talk of the “nor’easter” mistakenly summoned the famous rabbit. He materialized somewhere in the woods outside of Norton and quickly became disoriented in the midst of the severe winter storm.

Norton Fire Chief Bill Lapin led the rescue team that recovered the Easter Bunny earlier today. “Mr. Cottontail is extremely lucky,” said Lapin. “If he hadn’t left that trail of brightly coloured Easter eggs, we would have never found him in time.

“He was extremely disorientated — we don’t know if it was due to hypothermia or just general confusion as to why Easter moved to January. His extremities were severely frostbitten so his rabbit feet were definitely unlucky today.”

His spouse, Coneja Cottontail and his 278 children have been notified, but they cannot visit him due to the COVID-19 lockdown at the Saint John Regional Hospital. However, the presence of a treasured international celebrity at the facility has lifted the spirits of the overworked staff.

“No one famous ever shows up here!” said one urgent care nurse. “It’s a big deal! The premier has already been by to say hello, and we’ve taken multiple selfies with both of them.

“Mr. Cottontail is not out of the woods yet. He’s had a sudden onset of flu-like symptoms that we are keeping a close eye on.

“Now that I mention it, I don’t feel too great myself at the moment…” she said.

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