Saint John — Uptown Saint John resident Abby Jardine, 24, is offering a sweet benefits package containing “good vibes,” “intelligent conversation,” “jokes” and “maybe a beer sometime” to anyone willing to cancel their afternoon plans and spend their valuable time fixing her car, which has broken down for the 5th time this year.
“I can’t offer any financial compensation, but I would be eternally grateful to you if you could come over right now and help a girl out!” wrote the woman who regularly asks unreasonable favours of the general Facebook populace. “I don’t want to take it to a mechanic because I don’t trust them. That said, if you do this one thing for me, there’s a batch of vegan muffins in it for you in the not-too-distant future!!”
Jardine’s Facebook friend Nora Johnson said this is not the first time Abby has offered intangible or useless services and items in exchange for real work.
“Last week she asked if anyone had ‘a newish TV’ they could give her, because she didn’t want to go through the hassle of shopping around. And once she offered ‘a coffee and amazing company’ for a ride all the way to Toronto, because she didn’t think she should have to find her own way there, or chip in on gas like everyone else.”
Another Facebook friend, Jack Miller, said he once made the mistake of helping Jardine with one of her outlandish requests. “She wanted someone to completely remodel her bathroom. I figured, ‘What they heck, I’m having a slow day and could give her a hand.’ I assumed it was a paid job. When I finished 3 days later, she said ‘Thanks so much, Jack! I reaaaallly owe you big time!’ Then she said I could take my pick of a few half-empty containers of stale David’s Tea that she must have gotten in her Christmas stocking. Never again.”
Yet another friend, Ryan Killam, said Jardine once posted a status that said: “If someone could bring a Booster Juice to the office for me that would be sooo greeeeeaaaat. Will pay in hugs and mad respect!”
“Some creepy guy who has a crush on her no doubt bought the damn smoothie and delivered it within minutes,” recounted the Facebook friend, “which let her think she could just keep getting away with this crap. People need to stop encouraging her!”
Killam said Jardine posted another crazy request just minutes ago, asking for help moving from uptown to the North End. The status read as follows:
“Hey guys, me again. Need help moving. I won’t be there, but I’ll leave you with a key to my house and instructions of what/how to pack and where to bring it. If you have a truck or a van and some friends that could help that would be perfect. I have some old Avon products I’m not using anymore; they’re in a basket on the bathroom counter — feel free to help yourself! Also my cat Milo is offering free cuddles to anyone who helps out. 🙂 Thanks guys!!!”