Fredericton woman shaken up after using rainbow crosswalk

Fredericton woman shaken up after using rainbow crosswalk

Fredericton — A Fredericton woman was causing quite a stir on Facebook this morning after posting an outcry about the new rainbow crosswalk painted downtown for Pride Week.

In a lengthy, grammatically butchered Facebook post, 38-year-old Suzanne Rhodes complained that the crosswalk was pushing “gayness” on people and that the Pride movement was being “thrown in her face.”

Rhodes continued by exclaiming that when she accidentally crossed the rainbow crosswalk, she was overcome by a gay wave that she just couldn’t shake all morning.

“I was halfway across the crosswalk before I noticed it was rainbow-coloured; I had been checking the Facebook and wasn’t paying attention where I was walking. As soon as I got to the other end I could already feel my body tingling and turning a bit gay. Is this what the city wants?!”

Rhodes added that she needs to use that crosswalk to get to City Hall to complain about other things. “Now I have to take a different crosswalk to avoid catching the gayness coming from that crosswalk — why don’t people just let me live my life?”

We reached out to the Fredericton police, and so far there have been zero confirmed cases of people turning gay after using the crosswalk.

“I’m not sure I understand the question?” Police Chief Leanne Fitch told us this morning. “Nobody should be concerned about the crosswalk changing their sexual orientation. Wait, why are we even having this conversation?”

The Fredericton Pride festival kicked off Friday at 11:45 a.m. with the raising of the Pride flag at City Hall, and a Pride parade followed on Sunday afternoon.

  1. Ahahaha this made my day ? “I could feel my body tingling and turning a bit gay” ???

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  2. beverly davidson August 16, 2017, 10:37 am

    You”ve got to be kidding me !!!! So i’m to assume if I touch a gay person i most certainly will become gay also ? Or maybe that tingling feeling she was talking about will bring on a full gay
    orgasm !!!

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  3. Sheri Macdonald August 16, 2017, 1:06 pm

    There is something really wrong with you. Honestly there has to be something wrong with your brain!!! No normal thinking person could come up with something so ridiculously STUPID!! You should go to hospital and take the south elevator up to floor 5 and then you will be HOME!

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    • Maxx Mandelbrot August 16, 2017, 1:29 pm

      “All content (including without limitation likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc., collectively, “Content”) hosted on The Manatee websites and associated social media accounts (“The Manatee Sources”) is fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously. “

      Reply
  4. Hahaha best ever.
    Checking Facebook while crossing the street. Guess she should have had her Facebook safe crosswalk alerts on lol.

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  5. “We reached out to the Fredericton police, and so far there have been zero confirmed cases of people turning gay after using the crosswalk.” ???
    She was in the crosswalk checking her smartphone (dumbphone) rather than paying attention to traffic, that in itself speaks volumes as to her, more so than anything, lol.

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  6. “We reached out to the Fredericton police, and so far there have been zero confirmed cases of people turning gay after using the crosswalk.” ???
    She was in the crosswalk checking her smartphone (dumbphone) rather than paying attention to traffic, that in itself speaks volumes as to her, more so than anything else, lol.

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  7. WHAT IS EVERYONE GETTING SO UPSET ABOUT THE RAINBOW CROSS WALKS. THESE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH GAY PEOPLE, ALL THE RAINBOW CROSS WALKS IN THIS PROVINCE ARE IN MEMORY OF OUR PETS THAT HAVE CROSSED THE RAINBOW BRIDGE INTO PET HEAVEN. GET A LIFE PEOPLE AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT BEFORE SHOOTING OFF YOUR MOUTH

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  8. Lol really, so if I walk down the road and touch a Spanish/ Portuguese person do I become Spanish or Portuguese ? If so I’m going to run around grabbing people and know a ton of languages by Monday! 🙂

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  9. I can’t believe people are taking this seriously lol this site is not real news it’s satire and not true, it’s just for a good laugh!! ?

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  10. C’mon people, this is a satire site. It’s not real. Can’t believe you think it is.

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  11. is this woman for real???? seriously?
    I think having rainbow coloured crossing is fun….Think how these beautiful colours are seen by kiddies. Its a great way of showing kids where to cross the rainbow colours will stand out to kids more so that the usual boring colour. as for the turning gay! lady grow the hell up and stop being so stupid but if you want to carry on being stupid then its not only rainbow crossing you need to worry about causing you to turn gay, you better be careful when using public bathrooms you never know someone who is gay may have used that toilet just before you and than could cause that tingling sensation you have mentioned, and while i am on the subject what about money? just think every time you are handed money it could have been contaminated by a gay person!!!!!! and what if a gay person sneezes near you!!!!!! shit you are doomed you will become gay!
    GROW UP YOU STUPID HOMOPHOBIC FOOL STOP SHIT STIRRING AND TRYING TO CAUSE TROUBLE AND INCITE HATRED YOU IDIOTIC APOLOGY FOR A HUMAN BEING!
    I PRAY YOU DONT HAVE CHILDREN AND NEVER WILL BECAUSE NO CHILD SHOULD BE EXPOSED TO A MORON WITH A BRAIN THE SIZE OF A MICROSCOPIC SPEC OF DIRT, YOU INSIGNIFICANT SPEC OF SHIT!

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    • @ Crazycatlady. That’s a ridiculous response. There have been no confirmed cases Gay transference by sneezing or public washrooms since we added the vaccination to the flu shot in 2001. And you talk about her sounding stupid ….

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      • Woody Clithrust August 19, 2017, 9:59 pm

        Jimmy. Jimmy-jim-jimmaroo. Jimmy jimmy bo-minny, fee fi fo finny. Jimmy. Jim, I do not think that vaccination works. I know a couple of the gays. ‘Course, they took their gay shots orally.

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    • Dont get ur pee hot 😉 this is a fictitious for entertainment website lol

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    • Bernadette Coveyduck August 17, 2017, 7:59 pm

      Cause she is nuts & insignificant So don’t worry about the haters – she made more enemies than friends on this one ! Blame the media for even telling her story….. idiots all around

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    • @CrazyCatLady — I was about to write an honest response pointing out that this is a satire website… and then realized I can’t tell if this comment is satire. DOWN IS UP AND UP IS DOWN I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE *falls to knees in all-caps despair*

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  12. I’m a gay man who lives in a town which doesn’t have rainbow crossings. I only ever stay on one side of town. Which is really hard because there are some cool shops across the main road. When will the local council recognise the needs of gay people and install a rainbow crossing?

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  13. Lady you certainly needs to be educated
    And see someone that can help you with your narrow mindedness
    I hope For God sake don’t have kids to spread this kind of hatred to
    You are pathetic
    Grow up my dear

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  14. I’m feeling pretty gay just reading here…lighten up everyone! For everyone who stoops to point fingers, 3 of em are pointing back at you!

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  15. Wow, this is awesome. I’ll admit, I may have felt a “gay wave” as i read it. Its 2017, and it’s about time we support each other. Like Katie Lang once said “come on Canada, let your freak flag fly”.

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  16. Like really lady don’t think crossing over a rainbow ? crosswalk gonna change anybody there’s other ways to get to the place where you have to go take another route actually reading this made my day got s good laugh lol ? ???

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  17. pretty sure the 70s when rainbows were all around with those out of control hippies was when gayness got widespread and there’s no going back. now everyone knows the rainbows make you gay

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  18. She was J O K I N G !

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  19. My only concern here is : Who paid to have the crosswalks painted and who is going to pay to have the paint removed. Had a similar situation in Halifax a few years ago (quite a few actually) when some industrious students were painting blue civic numbers on city curbs (for a fee of course). First, a permit was required by law, and second the Municipality was deemed responsibly for any and all liability related to these numbers. Like, for instance, if they couldn’t be read because of snow and ice build up in winter.
    Please THINK people before you allow these things to happen.

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  20. Let’s hope this Darwin candidate continues her habit of reading “the Facebook” while crossing the street and gets “a tingling feeling” from an oncoming bus. #fingerscrossed

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  21. My better half once touched my penis and I turned into a motel.

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  22. If anyone believes that this story is true, there’s something wrong with them.

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  23. LMFAO. Yes honey this is how we convert you. With a rainbow crosswalk. I cant stop laughing. Good thing it wasnt blue and black with a red heart or she’d have had the urge to wear leather. OMG LMFAO

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  24. Seriously ,she should be embarrassed to come forward with sure craziness .

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  25. Attention seeker. Pathetic!!!!! Kinda drugs is this lady on?

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  26. If she is actually serious, she should be mortified for being a 38 YEAR OLD idiot. I guess we should stop little children from being fascinated with rainbows in case it turns them gay as well? Bahaha. What about Rainbow Brite? My Little Pony?? I’m a music teacher- should we stop singing ‘Somewhere Over the Rainbow’ too?!

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  27. That’s just hillarious!

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  28. My middle name is Gay, named after my earthly Father, Gaynol. My heavenly Father’s symbol of a promise made to mankind is the rainbow. All three of us are happy that equal rights promoters regard us as valuable components for the cause. God loves you, just as much as He loves straight Christians like my dad and me. No joke.

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  29. This is not true as you can see from paging down to the bottom of this page! “DISCLAIMER:

    All content (including without limitation likenesses, quotes, figures, facts, etc., collectively, “Content”) hosted on The Manatee websites and associated social media accounts (“The Manatee Sources”) is fictitious and satirical and should not be taken seriously. The Manatee Sources and Content are provided as is. By accessing any of The Manatee Sources you acknowledge and agree that such access, any use of Content, and/or linking to other websites or accounts from The Manatee Sources are entirely at your own risk.”

    Why do I think that this is one post that The Manatee will remove?

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  30. I felt myself turning a bit gay just looking at the rainbow. WTF is wrong with people?

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  31. Well if she’d just walk across it backwards, it would make her even more straight obviously.

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  32. I’d like to share that in all the years I’ve used heterosexual crosswalks, I’ve never had so much as a tingle or been converted to heterosexuality. The poor woman possibly should have some counselling since she was so upset by her feelings. And this is what happens when you’re looking at your phone instead of paying attention to where you’re walking.

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  33. Are people REALLY that ignorant? Gay “tingling” from walking across the rainbow cross walk? Yes, that’s why I’m gay. My Mom walked outside while there was a rainbow in the sky 60 years ago when she was pregnant with me. I was born gay because of it. Smdh!!!

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  34. How a about we have straight pride parades and crosswalks etc and promote being straight it seems we are the new taboo

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  35. Seriously??? Did it really happen??? People like this ignorant weirdo make our life hard, cause adolescents feel bad about themselves and worse. I can but hope that that “gay wave” she claimed to have would open her blocked bigot fanatic shred of a cell in her stupid mind. We all can ask the same question she did: “why don’t people just let me live my life?” Indeed, WHY???

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  36. Laurel Lindstrom August 21, 2017, 8:14 am

    I have been driving over these gay rainbow cross walks for almost a year now. I can attest that every time I drive over one of these I end up listening to show tunes in my car and I don’t even like that kind of music. I also get the urge to put on a ball gown , do big hair and wear a tiara. I am glad I do not own a ball gown and a tiara because it would be embarrassing to have to explain to my neighbors that I am turning gay. On a side note I do have a collection of killer heels now.
    Ya gotta love Satire. 😉

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  37. This cross walk was painted next to the existing cross walk. The existing cross walk was left as-is to accommodate all homophobes. 😉

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  38. I hope shes ok. ya never know what you’ll catch these days. She already caught a case of the stupids. LOL wtf is wrong with people

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  39. Having already achieved lesbian bed death, my partner and I no longer have a need for tingly feelings from colourful crosswalks.

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