Fredericton — With the popularity of the Steph Curry and Kim Kardashian emoji apps, the Brian Gallant government has created an app that will allow users to insert their favourite cabinet minister into their texts.
“We thought it would help people — especially the ministers themselves — communicate,” said Premier Gallant, “and that it would save time and make the government run more efficiently. If someone is attempting to convey surprise, they can simply send the Donald Arseneault emoji, for example.”
Gallant explained that Arseneault’s eyes “bug out quite a bit in real life, so there was little exaggeration necessary for the emoji.”
Cathy Rogers, as the first female minister of finance, will have dollar signs in her eyes; the emoji will be used to convey powerlessness as Rogers has very little say in actual spending decisions compared to former finance minister Roger Melanson.
“You’ll use the Cathy Rogers emoji when you just want to say ‘Can someone please give me some money?’ but you know it won’t really happen. Teens will find it fun, I think. They could use it to mean ‘I need a ride to the mall but Dad said no!’ and that kind of thing,” Gallant said, not once looking up from his phone.
“My emoji has a couple of meanings,” said the amused premier. “It will say anything from ‘Great hair!’ to ‘Have you been working out?’ Think how many fewer characters that will take when we’re all texting each other during legislature sittings! Maybe we’ll actually be able to pay attention for once.”
Lisa Harris, who has recently been made minister of Celtic Affairs, will be represented by a cartoonified Scottish person carrying bagpipes. “Just like the real cabinet position, the Celtic Affairs emoji will have no real significance — it’s just for fun,” Gallant explained. “It’s similar to the finance minister emoji that way.”
Gallant said the app should be available for download relatively soon, although it’s not quite finished. “We still need to come up with an emoji for MLA John Ames, newly appointed minister of Tourism, Heritage and Culture. I’m thinking something like a cute little Hopewell Rock. People could use it to convey emotions like ‘I’m totally falling apart here!’
“And there are a ton more, but I’ll just text them to you.”