Fredericton — Former New Brunswick premier Brian Gallant announced his plans to resign Friday, citing the next Liberal caucus meeting as the intended date.
Gallant clarified that he isn’t quitting because he lost the 2018 provincial election, but rather because of an upcoming opportunity he doesn’t want to miss.
“Karine and I have submitted an application for the seventh season of The Amazing Race Canada in 2019,” said Gallant, beaming with excitement.
“I’m sick of politics, where it’s you against everyone else, cameras always pointed at you, people watching, waiting for you to mess up. I want to be on TV! Competing against everyone else, always in the spotlight, with people watching and waiting for me to mess up…but with a possible prize at the end!”
Gallant explained that the casting team from The Amazing Race Canada will definitely pick him and Karine to join the race in spring of 2019 due to his existing fame and wacky ideas.
“We’re calling ourselves ‘Team Blaze.’ You should see our application video; it’s hilarious. We both go skinny dipping in a freezing-cold lake to show how brave and zany we are!”
When asked to comment, current Premier Blaine Higgs said he’s not surprised by Gallant’s announcement.
“Brian was crap at politics, but boy, does he have flair,” admitted Higgs, shaking his head wistfully. “I was against everything the guy stood for, but I have to admit, he knew how to put on a show. He won’t have a problem getting in. That said, I’ve made it my mission in life to trounce him at everything he does.”
Higgs called his assistant to film his own audition tape for The Amazing Race Canada.
“You can’t escape me, Brian. I’m going to beat you and steal that prize away,” muttered Higgs, stripping off his clothes to film himself streaking in the freezing rain.
“Get ready for Team Blaine!!! Woooooo!!!”