Fredericton — A Frederictonian is questioning the strength of her mother-daughter bond thanks to the trend of fake celebratory occasions on Facebook.
Marcia Ryerson, a 36-year-old professional, has worked hard at ignoring her mother’s lacking online affection, but finds herself obsessively checking her newsfeed for any sign that her mother does in fact truly love her.
“All these posts, ‘share if your daughter is the most amazing little snowflake in the world,’ or ‘tag your daughter if you are proud of her,’ all of the poems professing these undying bonds — but it’s radio silence for me,” lamented Ryerson. “What have I done? Why doesn’t my mother want to use sappy memes to show my 789 friends that she actually gives a crap about me?”
The Manatee contacted Marcia’s mother, Annie Wright, who was taken aback by these concerns.
“I just recently got on the Facebook. All I want to do is play the free games and earn extra points,” she explained, bewildered. “I honestly thought that the daily phone calls, my constantly dropping everything to look after her kids or to get her out of whatever crisis she finds herself in — this shows I’m trying my hardest.
“Why should Facebook be a requirement? I mean, I did breastfeed her, and with all the news lately you’d think that’s first and foremost to establishing a lifelong bond. I was sure I met all the ‘loving mother’ requirements?”
Ryerson, though, is insistent that her mother should start showing her some Facebook love.
“She recently started liking my pictures; I feel like that’s a step in the right direction, but I’m tired of all my friends getting the attention. Maybe they were bottle-fed and their mothers are now trying to make up for their shortcomings? I’m not sure, I just know I want some public recognition for the clearly stellar daughter that I am.”
The nail in the coffin for Ryerson occurred this morning when undeniable proof that her mother may not love her appeared in her newsfeed. Visibly distressed, she told us about happening upon a poster with a list of names entitled “Moms with the following names truly love their children” — but Annie was nowhere on that list.
“Well, that settles it. Maybe I should move on and try to attach my neediness to someone else. Like my kids or my husband.”
At press time, Ryerson admitted she was still holding out hope that her mother might tag her in a post for international “My daughter is the brightest star in the night sky day” on Nov. 25 or national “My daughter is clearly more awesome than anyone else day” on Nov. 26.