Halifax — Nova Scotia man Carson Hoyt, 29, is prone to posting meandering rants online, but his latest thesis exceeded 10 paragraphs and has led his friends to believe he must be living in some kind of fantasy world where people actually care about each other’s thoughts and opinions.
“Seriously, who’s going to take the time to read that?” asked Hoyt’s Facebook friend Tamara Jardine. “At most someone might skim the first three paragraphs before ‘reacting’ or commenting with their own tedious counter-opinion. No one cares what he thinks.”
Other Facebook friends of Hoyt expressed the same kind of incredulity.
“I saw it and it had that ‘See more’ link at the bottom, which obviously I didn’t click,” said Ryan Jefferson. “He’s pretty naïve if he thinks people are not only going to read what he wrote, but also consider the points he’s trying to make. It’s Facebook, for crying out loud — people come on here to see memes and cat videos and complaints about the weather.”
Our reporter never did find out what the long rant was about, because it was way too boring to bother reading even for the purposes of this article. It’s safe to assume it was some kind of political opinion about…maybe Trudeau, or a heavily exaggerated story about some injustice Hoyt suffered, or perhaps a New Year’s resolution that he’s going to finally get serious about in 2018.