New Brunswick — With temperatures soaring and road work hitting its busiest time of the year, New Brunswick drivers are facing increasingly long and uncomfortable wait times while travelling — and they couldn’t be happier about it.
“This is fantastic,” expressed an elated Emily Baker of Moncton. “I haven’t had anything fun to complain about in weeks, maybe even months.”
Baker is one of thousands of New Brunswick residents who love to take to social media outlets such as Twitter or Facebook to express countless annoyances caused by living in Canada’s Picture Province.
“Lately, I’ve been bone-dry for complaints,” she explained. “The weather was pretty nice, perfect temperatures, not much rain, mosquitoes weren’t bad — really ideal. Construction season hadn’t started yet, I’d been getting good service at local restaurants, my friends hadn’t done anything to piss me off and I’d already beaten the whole vaccine issue to death. This heat-wave is a godsend.”
Baker is not alone in feeling relieved by the current combination of sweltering temperatures and long wait times.
“I’m going to get so many likes and re-tweets on this status,” cheered Billy Wile of Sussex. “This winter was the best! I had so many posts about not getting plowed out, having to shovel my yard, having to wear warm clothing — you name it, I complained about it. I had a lot to be thankful for in February, but these past two months have been pretty nice.”
Wile’s aforementioned tweet read: Hey @townofsussex Good thing it’s nice and COOL on my QUICK drive to work. NOT!!! #sarcasm #idontevenhaveajob #nbsucks #potholesmuch #rebel4eva
Wile’s friends have also missed his daily rants posted on social media. “Whether he was waiting in line at Tims, couldn’t find anything to watch on Netflix, or he had to put some gas in his car, he was the best at putting people down for whatever was bothering him,” explained Barry Hudson, Wile’s Facebook friend. “The best, though, is when he’d disagree with something that someone else said — that’s when he’d really let loose. I’m pretty happy that he’s complaining again.”
The Manatee took to the streets of Fredericton to ask residents about their favourite summertime frustrations to complain about.
“It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity that really gets me,” said Jonas Barnaby. “I use that line every day and get a few chuckles.”
“I hate people who air out all of their complaints on Facebook,” expressed Jill Dionne. “I complained about that on Facebook and got 40-some likes, so obviously I’m not the only one.”
“I hate getting weird tan lines from my work uniform,” complained Erica Marsh. “It’s my job; I should be able to wear whatever I want. Maybe I’ll threaten to get a new job if they won’t accommodate me. At least if I lose my job I’ll get to show off my killer tan.”
“I just love it when my neighbour mows his lawn bright and early in the morning,” said Frank Blair. “I love to post on Facebook that he’s doing it to show off that has a job to go to, so he has to do it early. It makes everyone feel sorry for me for not having a job — it’s great.”
It’s abundantly clear that there’s plenty for New Brunswickers to complain about in the heart of summer, which should keep everyone happy and occupied until the province is once again covered in ice and snow.