Fredericton — Linda from Accounting tried pot this past weekend, sources have confirmed.
“It wasn’t what I thought it would be,” the 52-year-old told us. “I thought I might have a ‘bad trip’ but I just felt kinda dizzy and a bit sleepy.”
Linda was dared to try it by her co-worker, Linda from Human Resources. “Other Linda is so bad — she’s always getting up to crazy shenanigans,” said Linda from Accounting, giggling. “You didn’t hear it from me, but she tried pot on legalization day. I’m a bit more cautious by nature and thought I’d wait to see if anyone overdosed before I tried it.”
We asked Linda to elaborate on her experience.
“Well, I wasn’t planning on it — normally I don’t do things like this — but then I thought, ‘What the heck, you only live once.’ So before I knew it I had a drag off a bong! Or maybe it was a joint. Whatever it was, I felt quite loopy afterward and had to sit down.
“I don’t want to become addicted so I probably won’t try it again, but I have three teenagers at home and I wanted them to know they can talk to me about drugs, so I’m glad I had this experience so I can really get on their level and meet them where they’re at, you know?”
Linda said her only other experience with cannabis occurred in high school.
“I was walking back into school from lunch and I could have sworn I smelled marijuana,” she said, with a conspiratorial tone. “Now, it wasn’t me — I didn’t hang around anyone who would do that — but I think some football players were smoking it and the smell was wafting into the high school! Can you imagine?! And it wasn’t even legal back then!”
Linda informed us that she and Linda from Human Resources are trying to convince Linda from Marketing to try pot sometime too.