Moncton — Thursday morning, Magic Mountain Waterpark announced to the public that the popular wave pool will now feature great white sharks and oil spills to capture a true open ocean environment.
“For years, thrill-seekers all across Atlantic Canada have demanded more excitement from the waterpark,” explained head lifeguard Johnny Stevens. “After much thought and consideration, we have decided to respond to the suggestions — and what better way to do so than to bring the fear of sea creatures and oiled lungs?”
According to the park’s team, 350 litres of liquid petroleum will be dumped into the pool weekly. As for the number of sharks, the staff is expecting three to four great whites, and is currently working on capturing the recently spotted one near St. Andrews.
The public’s opinion has been mostly positive after the announcement. “Let’s be honest here,” said park visitor Amanda Cormier. “Ollie the Otter, the park’s mascot, is pretty lame. Can you imagine replacing that aqua rat with a freaking shark that you can actually take selfies with on-site?!”
To accommodate the new arrivals, lifeguards plan to organize interactive activities with the public: a bring-your-own raw chicken for a shark-feeding event has been discussed, as well as an oil-covered pelican-washing obstacle course.
“Of course,” Stevens confided, “we would like to add as much salt to our water as possible, too. Therefore, we ask that each individual purchasing a day pass bring a minimum of one box of table salt.”
When asked whether more changes to the park are to be expected, Magic Mountain representatives said that they are looking to add a twister simulator to their Tornado slide, and hopefully bring in a few alligators to the Lazy River.
“We’ll see how lazy people get when they know some Godzilla-looking thing might rip them to shreds at any given point — now that’s what I call ‘a thrilling adventure!'” manager Dustin White said with a smile.