Moncton — Codiac Regional RCMP are confirming that a man with a very small — possibly invisible — micropenis is being sought in connection to a case of hateful emails sent to students at the Université de Moncton.
Over the weekend, vicious and sexually explicit emails targeting a woman at the Université de Moncton were sent to a large portion of the university’s students. The script kiddie in question sent a total of 3 messages in an attempt to publicly shame the student. The sharing of private, sexual photos or videos of another person without their consent and with the purpose of causing embarrassment or distress is sometimes called “revenge porn.”
Now, while the RCMP searches for a suspect, they are admitting that knowing that the man in question has a micropenis doesn’t make their job any easier.
“It will be very challenging to locate this man based solely on the size of his tiny wiener,” said RCMP spokesperson Minnie Johnson. “First of all, just due to the normal clothing, micropenises are not visible to the outside world. But, even if this person’s penis was exposed, it is possibly so teeny that it might not be easy to see with the naked eye.
“We are looking for a male — either single or with a very dissatisfied partner. For obvious reasons, we suspect this man has no children and can pee standing up only with great difficulty. Although we have no idea of the weight and height of this person, our profile suggests that he may be smooth down there… like a Ken doll.”
Johnson concluded, “If you encounter a man with a penis so small that it may be inverted, please contact Codiac Regional RCMP. Do not approach or speak to the subject. He’s apparently very bitter, has a lot of time on his hands and nothing else to do to keep them busy.”