Moncton’s ‘Times & Transcript’ celebrates 10,000th animal-themed alliterated headline

Moncton — From “Meandering Moose Muddles Midday Moncton Motorists,” to “Pandering Pigeons Perpetually Pestering Pedestrians,” to “Growing Geese Gaggle Giving Gunningsville Grandfather Great Grief,” the Times & Transcript, Moncton’s most respected and popular newspaper, has shown itself to be the standard when it comes to cleverly alliterating any and all news centered on pets or local wildlife. And today marks its 10,000th alliterated story title involving — you guessed it — animals.

“It’s certainly a special day,” said managing editor Ed Wright. “Here at the Times & Transcript, we’ve always made it a point — no matter how seemingly irrelevant — to report the news about animals, but always to introduce it in such a way that’s fun, and you know, rolls off the tongue.”

Since the paper’s establishment in 1868, reporters for the Times & Transcript have gone out of their way to provide the hard-hitting facts about these wily and adorable creatures. Local historian Kevin Chappell recounts one such story:

“It was shortly after the Halifax explosion. As this terrible tragedy happened only weeks before Christmas, Moncton locals had gotten together and donated a fair number of toys and such for some of the children affected. One of the trucks delivering these items was slightly delayed by a mother duck and her ducklings. The Times & Transcript made it a front-page story; they called it ‘Dilly-Dallying Ducks Delay Doll Delivery to Decimated Dartmouth.’ It provided quite a chuckle, from what I understand.”

As to the story behind the new record-breaking headline: a mentally unstable man known to police in the Shediac area made off with a horse from a local rancher. After a long and frustrating pursuit, RCMP eventually apprehended the culprit. When the police dog caught up with the him, spooking the horse, the man was quickly thrown to the ground and detained shortly after. The news title read: “Clever K-9 Cop Collars Cantering Colt Carrying Crazed Criminal Caper.”