Moncton — New Brunswick youth are miserable today thanks to a snap judgment about the province made by a popular social networking platform.
Teenagers “can’t even” (or whatever the hell else teens say when they are being dramatic) today due to Sunday’s Snapchat outage affecting all of New Brunswick. Spokespeople from the U.S.-based social networking company explained that Sunday’s province-wide outage was due to human error on their part.
“We are really very sorry,” said Jordan Claquer, Chief Technical Officer for Snapchat. “Our team was going through the quality assurance phase for the software and erroneously identified your province as a bug in the software. No one on the team has ever heard of ‘New Bisquick,’ so we just removed it.”
“New Brunswick…” corrected The Manatee reporter.
“Right, yes…New Bisquick,” Claquer answered. “Anyways, once the latest server update was implemented on Friday night, every user from your…province or whatever…was impacted by a service outage. Nobody would have been able to log in for over 36 hours. Again, we apologize to everyone living in your…place, wherever the hell that is.”
While the outage was relatively brief, it was enough to end every single Snapchat “streak” of every teen in New Brunswick. Streaks count how many consecutive days two people have been sending Snaps to each other. Every day they send a Snap their streak gets longer.
“All of my streaks are GONE! GONE!” wailed 16-year-old Hannah Tracey. “I mean, I look at my phone now and I can’t even tell who my best friends are without a number beside their username. It’s like they’re all strangers! This is the worst day of my life!
“Who am I going to swap faces with now?”