Need for veggies a ‘social construct,’ says Meat and Potato Society of Nova Scotia

Need for veggies a ‘social construct,’ says Meat and Potato Society of Nova Scotia

Halifax — “It’s all just a power play,” says Jared Jackson, founder and president of the Meat and Potato Society of Nova Scotia (MPSNS). “All that baloney you read everywhere these days about the importance of vegetables in your diet is just a heap of rubbish. It’s nonsense.”

Jackson founded MPSNS in 1997 in Halifax as a place for increasingly marginalized steak-lovers to come together and share a hearty, blood-soaked meal. For the first five years they held their weekly meetings in Jackson’s kitchen in the north end of Halifax, but due to expanding membership they soon had to move to the local community centre.

“We really caught on to something. It was very special to be a part of such an important social movement,” he said, as he wiped a tear from his eye.

Jackson had never spoken to the media before this week, but says he was driven to reach out due to the declining attendance at his weekly “bloodfests.” He blames the low attendance on the proliferation in mainstream media of pro-vegetarian and pro-vegan lifestyles.

“Only three people showed up last week. It’s getting very dire. And green vegetables are everywhere. Everyone is talking about how good vegetables are for you and they’re demonizing meat-eaters — they’re really picking on the little guy. Meat and potato lovers are having a tough go of it.”

What does he think of vegetarianism? “Well, what all this propaganda doesn’t tell you is that this supposed need for vegetables is a social construct. You know, invented by the Liberal elites to bankrupt the meat industry. That’s all it is. Leafy greens don’t make you healthy. That’s a lie. What makes you healthy is a vigorous love of life and a good bloody steak.”

Jackson credits his “vigorous love of life” to his various health setbacks and the awareness of his own mortality that he has gained from them. “I’ve been knocking on heaven’s door a few too many times. I had my seventh heart attack last month. But you know, every time I lose my health I’m just more convinced to live my life in the moment, and to really enjoy it to the fullest.

“That last one had me really scared,” he added, “so now I eat steak and potatoes every night — I’ve cut out cabbage altogether — ’cause I just never know when those angels might come calling for me again.”

Jackson, an inspiring example of perseverance and dedication to one’s ideals, said that when he was on the shelf they ran their weekly “bloodfests” out of the cafeteria of the Halifax Infirmary. He calls it a “sign from the heavens” that three of the other six initial founding members of MPSNS also happened to be inpatients suffering from various heart-related illnesses.

“The Infirmary staff were extraordinarily accommodating and didn’t try to push too much applesauce on us. We would never have stood for that faux-medicine vitamin-rich nonsense!”

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